[Texas Songwriter]

This is a true story which I witnessed and treated. While I was on call for emergency surgery a man came walking into the ER wearing a robe and carrying a vacuum cleaner. This was his story. His wife had gone to Dallas to shop and he was there at house by himself. So, in a moment of consideration, he decided to vacuum the floor. He said he enjoyed vacuuming the floor in the nude. He said he slipped, ACCIDENTALLY touching the end of the tube of the vaccum cleaner (without the attachment) and it sucked his penis into the tube and he could not break the vacuum. Reaching a point of pain and panic he arrived to our ER. We tried to break the vacuum, but there was no doing it. We took him to the OR and cut the tubing of of the vacuum cleaner and had to 'grease-up' some wire cutters and slip them beneath the metal cuff (made of aluminum) on the hose and his member. With some effort we were able to cut and bend the cuff without lacerating his manhood. It was black and blue for several days after that. After he became detumescent we felt better because , as the commercial goes, if erections last more than 4 hours, seek the help of a physician. This is because the corpus spongiosum and cavernosus can become thromboses and filled with clot and lead to serious consequences.

I hate to say we grow som pervert here in East Texas, but.....we do.

[DieHard the Hunter]

But wouldn’t the vacuum break when he turned off the motor? Or when you cut the tube?

I don’t get it...

[Clay Moore]

True story: We have an open house every year on the first Saturday of October for fire safety month. There are several hundred people milling around (between demonstrations). Suddenly the tones go off and one engine and medic is dispatched to a “man with his penis stuck in a vacuum cleaner(beater brush). It is bleeding profusely...” Normally the dispatchers give us scant dispatch info. Not this time.

You could have heard a pin drop!

[Sensei Ern]

One guy suffered major lacerations when he removed the hose because it was too small. He went direct and the fan began chopping away.