They had the good sense to move South though, and marry Southern girls. < g > My husband's mother is from N.J., but rural farming country in east central Jersey, not the city. She's a nice Irish Catholic farm girl, no nonsense about her and good as gold (great mother in law!) I agree that the real problem is the big-city Yankees who come down and try to tell everybody how much better it was up North.
It's not generally known that General Sherman was quite well liked in the South after the War. He was an opponent of the Radical Republicans who beat up on the South so badly and kicked everybody when they were down, so folks were willing to "forgive and forget" because he did first.
My gg grandfather was the Commander of the local UCV encampment at Eufaula AL, and they invited Sherman to speak at their convention, showed him every hospitality.
I think Charleston is a special case. I never had any problem there, because I can point to a couple of ancestors who were merchants in Charleston back in the 1830s, but they can be a little standoffish to outsiders. (The same is true of Rome GA and Augusta GA, though not to the same degree.)
That's one thing about many places in the South and very few in the North: there's much more emphasis on who your people are, and having the right ancestors can open social doors. You can even form a type of kinship with people whose ancestors fought in the same unit as your ancestors during the War. Interestingly no one in the South has ever sought to verify what I've said about who my people are; they just accept it.