In fact, if we're going to change the rules...
1. Enlarge the goal by like ten feet on all sides
2. Remove the off sides rule
3. Allow two players on each side to branish a huge hockey stick
4. Allow one player on each side to use his hands
5. Have two females added to the field for each side...and they have to play in the nude....
6. If you fake an injury during a game, you're kicked off the team for life.
I think then MAYBE... just MAYBE you might get someone in Hancock, Wisconsin to watch this pathetic excuse for sport..for more than ten minutes...
Except you can substitue this rule to guys play with their shirts off.
Now your rules are perfect.