Sorry to hear how your childhood went. Did you ever find your grandmother or mother?
Grandmother who raised me to the age of 6 and very well strict routine down to diet, sports swimming and golf, art time, radio but no more than 30 min. tv, nap ect....wonderful memories untill I was put in Dad's custody his wife and family, he had no clue untill we talked before he passed on and made our peace. Grandmother passed on when I was 13 and other than when I ran away to be sent back home never was allowed to see her.
Mom moved back East and was through with kids I was the last 6 yrs since the 5prior with Dad and their divorce.
Mom ended up not caring for her mental health and was institutionalized I spoke to her but she was very ill and said I would have been aborted if it was legal. Thank God it wasn't. LOL
I tell ya what, never had a man fall in love with me so after I had my son I decided to return to my Catholic Faith and Chaste, God gave me all the Love and a special gift in my Cerebral Palsied Quad son and my Labradors.
I look at the rough road growing up was training camp for the work I do now. I have anger hidden away and trust is nilch but nothing in this world can replace the responsibility God gave me when I begged him for my sons life having been still born.
Life as an adult has been full, stressfull, exciting, full of hurdles not humanly possible but very rewarding and enjoyable only through the Love of God and doing my best to do what is right.
Sorry been up all night working and have a few hours to go before sleep so I am rambling.
Back to Jessie, Lord bring her home....