Am I asking an unreasonable question to those who state they are fellow Christians?
A Calvinist would have the right to question an Arminian to see what he is depending on for salvation would he not?
This has nothing to do with your question(s). It has to do with your questioning whether someone is saved or not.
You do not have that right. It isn't even for you to know. You are not God.
You should retract that statement.
Real men don't whine.