Here is Lee in a letter to his son
The South, in my opinion, has been aggrieved by the acts of the North, as you say. I feel the aggression and am willing to take every proper step for redress. It is the principle I contend for, not individual or private benefit. As an American citizen I take great pride in my country, her prosperity, and her institutions, and would defend any State if her rights were invaded.
But I can anticipate no greater calamity for the country then the dissolution of the Union. It would be an accumulation of all the evils we complain of, and I am willing to sacrifice everything but honor for its preservation. I hope, therefore,that all constitutional means will be exhausted before there is a resort to force. Secession is nothing but revolution (emphasis mine)
The framers of our Constitution never exhausted so much labor, wisdom and forbearance in its formation, and surrounded it with so many guards and securities, if it was intended to be broken by every member of the Confederacy at will. It is intended for a 'perpetual union'so expressed in the preamble and for the establishment of a government, not a compact, which can only be dissolved by revolution or the consent of the all the people in a convention assembled. It is idle to talk of secession. Anarchy would have been established, and not a government by Washington, Hamilton, Jefferson, Madison and the other patriots of the Revolution.(emphasis added)
....Still a Union that can be only be maintained by swords and bayonets, in which strive and civil war are to take the place of brotherly love and kindness, has no charm for me.I shall mourn for my country and for the welfare and progress of mankind.(emphasis added) If the Union is dissolved and the Government disrupted, I shall return to my native state and share the miseries of my people, and save in defense will draw my sword on none.
Memories of Robert E. Lee, by A.L.Long, The Blue and Grey Press,1983, p.88-89)
I guess you've missed the point... again.