4CJ, you are condemned to remain "Amateur Hour" material unless you obtain your Capitan Juris Doctor degree. It requires rigorous training, but I thought perhaps I could offer a few pointers.
First you must learn to vehemently argue with an air of great authority about a court decision you have not read. For further guidance study the antics of capitan_refugio arguing the Mitchell case up until his #1370 where he states, "I have not read Mitchell, but the description in the Hamdi footnote is that the plantiff was a US citizen."
Next, you must learn compound lying, where one attention-getting statement draws attention away from the accompanying whoppers. For example see capitan_refugio #1370 where he states, "I have not read Mitchell, but the description in the Hamdi footnote is that the plantiff was a US citizen." The admission that he had not read Mitchell distracts you from realizing that there is no footnote and the cited description appears neither in any footnote nor in the Supreme Court decision in Hamdi nor in any court decision in any case. You just obtain a copy of a Petition for a Writ or any court pleading by any public defender and annoint it as the opinion of the Supreme Court.
Next, you must learn to simply deny the undeniable. For example, see capitan_refugio #237 "Bollman was not about habeas corpus."
Next, you must learn to do something completely ridiculous, for example quoting Mr. Carlisle, an attorney in the case of the Brilliante, and attributing it to the opinion of the Supreme Court in a different case, say the Amy Warwick. For lessons on how to do this, see capitan_refugio #649.
Next, you must learn to describe, with great conviction, a non-existent Supreme Court case. For example, the non-existent Supreme Court case of Lemmon v. The People, and blame the despicable non-existent result on the perfidy of Roger B. Taney. For an example, see capitan_refugio #386.
For extra credit, master the art of quoting a dissenting opinion as the opinion of the court.
Only when you have learned to demonstrate expertise such as described above, may you attain the Capitan Juris Doctor degree. With this degree, earned by said demonstrated expertise, you earn the right to call all others "Amateur Hour."
Good luck.
For extra credit, deny that Bollman is a habeas corpus case by citing something written in an enclyclopedia by a Claremont history professor. For an example, see capitan_refugio #1865.
Even if I earned such, it would never be enough - the bar is ALWAYS raised by the other side.