I was very young when it happened. Haven't
tried to see if it's work since. You made
me think of the lyrics to a song. All for
one line near the end.
Teacher: Good morning, class!
Class: Good morning, Mrs. Aryan.
Teacher: Today we're going to play a game!
Class: Yeah!
Teacher: This game is called Lifeboat. All together...
Class: Lifeboat!
Teacher: Good! Lifeboat is a lesson in values
clarification. Can you say values clarification?
Class: No.
Teacher: Values clarification is where your little
minds decide which lives are worth living and which
lives are worth ...ahem... not living. Now here's how
we play. A big ship just sank. There are five people
on the lifeboat. But the lifeboat is only made for two.
I'll list the five people on the chalkboard, and you,
class, will decide which three will be thrown overboard.
Are we ready?
Class: Yes, Mrs. Aryan.
Teacher: Good! First, there's an old, old crippled grandfather.
Second, there's a mentally handicapped person in a wheelchair.
Alison: What's mentally handicapped?
Teacher: It means they can never be a productive
member of society. Third, there's an overweight
woman on welfare, with a sniffling, whimpering baby.
Max: Is the baby on welfare, too?
Teacher: Let's not push Mrs. Aryan...
Sydney: Who else is in the boat?
Teacher: A young, white doctor with blue eyes and
perfect teeth, and Joan Collins. Now, class, take
five minutes to make your decision. ... Times up!
Well class?
Class: Throw over grandpa 'cause he's getting pretty
old. throw out the baby or we'll all be catching it's
cold. throw over fatty and we'll see if she can float.
throw out the retard, and they won't be rockin' the boat.
Teacher: Very good! That was fun, wasn't it?
Class: Yes, Mrs. Aryan.
Teacher: For our next lesson, we're going to do an experiment!
Class: Yeah!
Teacher: We're going to test the law of gravity, just like
Galileo, by dropping two objects out the window--one
heavy and one light-- to see which one hits the sidewalk
first. Now what shall we use for the lighter object? I'm
thinking of something small and square...
Class: An eraser?
Teacher: Good! And what shall we use for the heavy
object? I'm thinking of something round and bouncy...
Tommy, I haven't given you permission to leave your
sea...class, the bell has not rung. What are you... oohh!
Class...put me down! Put me down this instant! Ooohhh! Ooohhh!
Class: Throw over teacher and we'll see if she can bounce
we've learned our lesson--teacher says perfection's what counts
she's getting old and gray and wears an ugly coat
throw over teacher and we'll play another game of lifeboat
throw over grandpa 'cause he's getting pretty old
throw out the baby, or we'll all be catching it's cold
throw over fatty and we'll see if she can float
throw out the retard, and they won't be rockin' the boat
Yeah!
LOL... Lifeboat huh? That Joan Colins chick woulda been first on my list. Could have used grandpa for bait and the doctor sounds like the type of parasite the medical community can live without.