[*putting on hip-waders*] I believe you. Honest.
I'M A PIRATE! by Cap'n Slappy
Oh, a pirate's life is free from strife his journey to begin
without a troubled, nagging wife a keepin' him from sin.
I've set me sails, I've got me peg, a compass and tattoo,
a parrot I call "Pauly" and a sword to run ye through.
CHORUS:
I'm A PIRATE!
Now Don't Give Me No Sass!
Or, I'll walk up right behind ye, lad, and kick ye in the ass!
Thars a nor-east blowin' in me face a gail comin' this way.
We'll stay right here and drink some more, ship out another day.
And the wenches they do make me smile I think they bring good luck
If I had me way on every day, I'd give them each a ... buck!
CHORUS:
I'm A PIRATE!
Now Don't Give Me No Sass!
Or, I'll walk up right behind ye, lad, and kick ye in the ass!
We sail and sail and read our mail and then we sail some more
we sail so much we haven't got time to go to the store.
We got no gold we got no gems and yet we feel so free
We ran out of fresh water, and had to drink our pee.
EVERYBODY:
I'm a PIRATE!
Now Don't Give Me No SASS!
Or, I'll walk up right behind ye, lad, and kick ye in the ASS!!