What does your life teach you? I know I am not to lie, but telling the truth is often difficult, I hedge, I skirt, I excuse. So clearly I understand that I must love my personal enemies, but I do not, I despise them, seek revenge, hope for their comeuppance.
It might be quite easy to live an entire Christian life ignorant of the arguments for and against limited atonement and still be hear those words "well done" from the Judge...but should I neglect the plain demands Christ makes upon me (demands so simple we understand them all from the beginning of our new-birth and so difficult we spend our lives working on compliance) then His response will be quite different..
I'm trying to grasp your point and your criticism of Calvin, particularly since I know of nothing in Calvinism that teaches not to be "kind, sacrifice for others, be faithful...to love God, to love our neighbor."
Nor do I, although from what little history I've read I would not look to Calvin as a model for kindness. My point is simply that it is going to take every breath I have, all the energy my body will ever produce to love my neighbor as I love myself each moment of each day.....and the temptation is to find refuge in a easier path.
You are struggling with that which most Christians both admit and don't admit. There is a level of "everyman" failure that we will share with others. But we really don't let others know the reality of our failures, because they are so real as to hurt others, and ourselves, and our relationship with our Lord.
You are very correct, and your words are a reminder that any doctrine which can be misused/used to divert our attention from true holiness, from the true demands of the Lord on our lives, is a doctrine with which we must be very careful.
Jesus does not tell us to "go and do likewise" because he was an extrovert and liked to flap his gums in the wind.