Who left the dimensional door open? - Thread 028

OnLine News ^ | 1/29/2002 | Unknown

[acnielsen guy]

White Trash Collection


A Kentucky Bathroom

[grannie9]

I'm going to wrap that camera of yours around your neck. Now stay away from me, you grizzled old goat...!!!

[acnielsen guy]

Hey Gran! You are talented, I thought you only played the spoons and engaged in precision spitting.

[grannie9]

There is no end to my talents... Now that you've seen me.....want to play????

I'll make an appointment at the Motel Hell... hubba hubba...

[grannie9]

BYOB... ;)

[grannie9]

AC, rolling his birthday joint. ;)

[acnielsen guy]

If your thinking I am going to pay a 1.89 for the Country Club and treat you like a nubian princess. You better get used to Camo a 1.09 or two food stamps.
Goes best with: hoopdees, wife beatin, ruff rydin, and water melon. Reckon goes for beatin´ concubines too

[grannie9]

If you're plannin on layin a hand on me, big fella..you'd best be doin a good yob.. I ain't messin for nuthin...

[acnielsen guy]

I know you have your pride and conscience to salve gran - but hell I´m already a buck nine out of pocket for the Camo - I don´t think they take food stamps for the room and I ain´t even had a peek yet. I ain´t buying no pig in no poke.

[grannie9]

OK, OK..studly... How bout if I take off the slippers and robe..? Give a better glimpse of what your money can buy? eh??

Hold on there big fella.. Best not peek just yit.. Lookin true beauty in the eyes, first time, can be trammatizin...

Ta da.......!!!!

[grannie9]

Poor old geeza.. probably struck him blind.. ;) That'll show him who's wuth a buck nine..

[acnielsen guy]

You think you be dealin´ with some rube from the sticks. showing off yore fancy duds from K-Mart as if´n I ain´t seen quality afore. It don´t bedazzle yores truly. I want to some skin - ifyaknowwaddimean

[grannie9]

I'll give ya some skin... and here's the skinny.. Put up or shut up, you buck nine wonda..

Ya have ta pay for good stuff.. It don't come cheap..!!! All these Duds came from Woolworths.. I go top of the line, big guy.. Now put up, or shut up.. !

[grannie9]

I have one reservation left.. and it concerns you, but I could be talked into over-ridin it.

You've got ten minutes, and then it's the week to change the sheets... I don't lay all over the place all the time ya know.. I'm a workin gal...yaknowhatimean?

Shape up or ship out!!

[acnielsen guy]

I like a uppity ho with spirit - I´m begining to warm towards yer hon...now get the glass from the wash basin and take a good swig of of this here Camo.

I´ll settle for a little feel while we dicker ´bout taking out a mortgage.

[grannie9]

Hey, watch yer language there Sunshine... I'll get the glass for the Mash.. and you mind your P's and Q's, ya old goat..

Mortgage, eh? I loooooooooove a sweet talkin man...

Hey, Bertie? Go out and buy another set a sheets! We gut a live one here... ;)

[acnielsen guy]

You wouldn´t be thinkin´ of charging extry for clean sheets ´cos I ain´t payin for no romantic stuff. I just want the bare essentials and thank you ma´am.

[grannie9]

Whassa matta? Wait a minute hea... Hold the phone, hold the phone.. Let's get back to this mortgage stuff big guy.. Don't you worry bout payin extree... just keep yer mind in the right place..

Let me sit on yer lap there Honey, and we kin talk finances... donchano..

[acnielsen guy]

That´s eggactly wot I wuz thinking flower, we must be paraplegic. Here have anuther swig of the moonshine and I will settle for a tour of the property while we discuss the mortgage. We´un don´t need no papers just a spit and a handshake.

I will be down at the local Farmer Bank first thing tomorrow setting in motion the fixings for loan of a bucket-o-bucks - a few of which shall be slipped into yore bosom for service rendered. You have me affidavit on that m´dear.

Gimme yer hand and seal the deal lass and let´s get down to business.

[grannie9]

You gut a deal Sailor boy.. Whooooooopeee... Heers ma spit and heers my hand...

To be continuuuuuuuuuuuued... ;)