Posted on 06/09/2002 9:52:11 AM PDT by Mo1
Things have been a little rocky lately for Bess. She needs some pampering.
So9
Emails intercepted from GW's computer....
Dear Scotty K,
I recently visited your amazing web site entitled BushIsADork.com - And was especially impressed by your underlying allegation that you could far more adequately conduct America's defense strategy in its current conflict against terrorism. Bold talk, cowboy, considering that it's coming from someone who answered the gender question wrong on his latest Taco Bell application.
Sincerely,
~George W. Bush
Dear Mr. Clinton,
Although I very much admire the state in which you left the current official White House computer system, I would nevertheless consider it a huge favor if you'd be so kind as to advise me how on how one might go about removing these tiny animated strippers from its desktop files. I tried, but as opposed to the firing codes for our nuclear submarines, which you left in the public domain -- the strippers are password protected. Granted, they're real cute, Bill -- but terribly difficult to explain during online chat sessions with the Pope.
Sincerely,
~George W. Bush
Dear Saddam,
Thank you for your heartfelt letter of condolence over the recent terrorist attacks. I realize how difficult that must have been for you to write, considering the differences that you and my father have had in the past. Please rest assured that although I love my dad, I am nothing like him. For example, when I was a small boy my father ran over a skunk and brought it home terribly wounded. Yet, no matter how much the filthy little thing whimpered, dad quite simply could not bring himself to finish the poor thing off. That's when I stepped in and blew its f****** brains out.
Have a nice day!
~George W. Bush
Dear Mr. Clinton,
Thank you for the link to Hooters.com and the tip on the redhead in gallery #7. Now please, if you recall my original email, I requested the names of the contacts your administration utilized to help locate Osama back in '99. As per the second part of your email, the answer is no -- I have never really noticed Colin Powell as having what you term, purdy lips.
Sincerely,
~George W. Bush
Staff:
It's come to my attention that somebody's been using the secure sattellite uplink phones to call Miss Cleo. Obviously, this is a problem. If you do talk to her again though, ask if she can flip the 'death card' over on bin Laden, will ya?
Dub
Dear Inmate #104-036:
Thank you for contacting my office and inquiring about employment opportunities. Unfortunately at this time I have no need for a "bitch." But I do appreciate your interest. You might want to try here: BubbaC@Hooters.net.
Sincerely,
~George W. Bush
*Hugs*
So9
South Bay SLOWDOWN Northbound highway 17 is slow between 85 and hamilton, and southbound lanes are jammed from 280 *all due to an earlier brush fire at a pg&e substation. (first reported at 8:25 pm)
Peninsula INJURY ACCIDENT In mountain view on northbound highwy 85 before middlefield road, this solo vehicle accident is on the right shoulder. minor injuries are reported. (first reported at 8:26 pm)
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