Spectacular Galaxy Collision Visualization

Cosmiverse ^ | April 9, 2002 08:30 CST

[Nebullis]

New York Times version:

Documents show Bush intended to use galaxy collision to give wealthy more money.

Poor and middle class working wage earners were expected to contribute to a large shelter built for the wealthiest top 1%. Senator Daschle, in a reasoned and responsible speech, critized the Bush administration, charging that "gouging the crippled and the poor to aid Enron friends is comparable to abuses by Roman Catholic priests".

[VadeRetro]

Very nice! Mine wasn't particularly original.

The Democratic Underground version:

"Bush and Cheney caused the galaxy collision! That was done to discredit the left in this country and increase their own control . . ."

[Nebullis]

...Cheney, in his secret hideaway, has been using periscopes and laserbeams to deflect galaxies from their original path, hoping that a catastrophic collision would wipe out a disproportionate number of poor Democrats.

[PatrickHenry]

Arafat, starving and isolated in his blacked-out office compound, charged in an exclussive CNN interview that the United States and Israel have conspired to cause the galaxies to collide, in an effort to permanently deprive Arabs of their rightful homeland.

[VadeRetro]

Al Sharpton's Presidential Express today charged that the galaxy collision was a Republican plot to destabilize the 2004 presidential elections.

[PatrickHenry]

Senators Ted Kennedy (D. Mass) and Hillary Clinton (D. NY) said in a press conference that the Republicans should stop "playing politics" with the galaxy collision and should pass their minimum wage bill immediately, "before it's too late to help those in greatest need."

[Teacher317]

He needs to be pinged, too! =^)

[PatrickHenry]

Pat Buchanan demands beefing up US borders to prevent the inevitable flood of illegal aliens from the invading galaxy.

Union officials demand higher tariffs to protect US workers from expected flood of illegal dumping from the invading galaxy.

Rep. Gephardt (D. Mo.) demands higher payroll taxes to protect seniors who depend on Social Security and are expected to be disadvantaged by the invading galaxy.

[VadeRetro]

"The galaxy collision proves that the earth once orbited Saturn. It is occurring because the electrical forces that once predominated over gravity in the universe are re-emerging and causing the galaxies to draw together. We can expect giant disharges to dig trenches all over the earth. These trenches will have no ejecta or igneous signatures because all the removed material will be perfectly vaporized."

[<1/1,000,000th%]

We are currently in a galactic collision. Don't you hear the metal screeching?

[PatrickHenry]

Warning from the Surgeon General:
Unprotected interpenetration of galaxies may result in serious hazzards to your health.
No galaxy should collide with another without benefit of a Galactic Condom (tm).

[Saturnalia]

But we all know galaxies are held together by electrostatic forces emited by quark stars.
BUT THE SCIENTISTS WANT TO REPRESS THE INFORMATION!
FIGHT THE POWER!

/end medved