Posted on 10/06/2018 2:02:35 PM PDT by BenLurkin
What was your first clue? A face full of fangs, claws on every limb, and the only way to further weaponize this horrendous beast is to equip its tail with a thagomizer.
Cats Are Not Companions
Cats are not companions,
In walks we take through life.
"You go ahead," they'll yawn instead,
"I'm sharpening my knife."
On furniture, you'll notice,
The kind that you require,
For resting in, reposing,
In comfort by the fire.
They may not mind your being there,
And in your favorite seat,
As long as you are quick to rise,
When it is their time to eat!
For cats are not companions,
They are in charge of us!
Why else would they be in the chair,
While we're out on the bus?
NicknamedBob . . . September 2, 2014
LOL
So true. I sometimes called my Rusty evil, but now that he’s gone I look back on everything he did with fondness.
:-)
I had a Basement Cat named Wednesday who disliked all of us sincerely, but I treasured the occasions when she would jump up on the bed and sit near me.
Very good. You may recall that, after I bought a short-person chair for my 50th birthday present to myself, I had to go back to “Consignment First” and get another one because Shannon wouldn’t let me sit in the first one.
Thank you, Bob! (I had to look up “thagomizer.”)
Jake is sitting on a folding chair in front of the other computer, waiting for me to ... I don’t know what. I already gave him some chicken and let him in and out a couple of times.
I make them scootch over. If they resist, I threaten to hug and kiss them. That always works. (Visualize crazy old lady with frizzed-out hair and outstretched arms hovering over the chair yelling, “KISSY-KISSEEEE! HUGGY-HUGGEEEEE!” Quite chilling, actually.)
Whatever Tigger’s requests, if you pick him up and give him cookies, he’s happy.
Jake does not like cookies.
Oh, now you’ve done it. I’m worried about the chickens. Require condition report stat.
Tigger appears to believe that he has a Divinely-given right to sample whatever we eat or that he’s the official taste-tester. He weighs sixteen pounds, has seven claws on one front paw and six on the three others, and is vocal and pushy. He’s also absolutely gorgeous, which doesn’t help. My friend’s Maine Coons don’t like treats either. Does Shannon like cookies?
No, Shannon is offended by the very concept of people food.
Considering that she screams at her toys, that isn’t surprising.
Shannon has some emotional issues.
Don’t we all? (Actually, I speak for myself.)
I think it’s universal. Our compensating behaviors just aren’t as picturesque as shrieking at a 3” stuffed raccoon or a baby’s hair-bow. Maybe that’s not weird to other cats ...
Good point.
I find writing poetry to be therapeutic. At least, my end of it is.
Just picture your emotional baggage being tossed back onto the airport carousel,
and then walking away from it.
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