Your Sloth Quotient: 27% |
Don't beat yourself up over a little laziness every now and then. You do need your downtime! |
Thank you for not being to lazy to post a silliness thread today!
Your Sloth Quotient: 46% |
All your life needs is a little more effort and variety, and you might see that doing hard things is actually fun! |
Your Sloth Quotient: 78% |
While being lazy does feel good, you're missing out on the really good parts of life that take a little work. |
The Sister - Nun - asks her 3rd grade class what they wanted to be when they grew up. A little girl raised her hand.
“I wanna be a prostitute.” she declared.
The sister flushed: “Uh, what did you say, Missy?”
“I said, I wanna be a prostitute!”
The Sister’s knees buckled. “Would you please repeat that?” she stammered.
“I said, I WANNA BE A PROSTITUTE!!!”
“Oh thank Heavens,” The Sister sighed. “for a moment I thought you said you wanted to be a Protestant!
Four bears break into cabin; drink 100 beers (Yahoo August 10, 2012)
Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan, Utah. He died not knowing that he would win the ‘Coolest Headstone’ contest.
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.
2. It’s important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It’s important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn’t lie to you.
4. It’s important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.
5. It’s very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.
The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.
Around 3 a..m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another
9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
(Even when totally smashed.... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 cuckoos
MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in.
I told him ‘MIDNIGHT’... he didn’t seem upset in the least.
Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said ‘We need a new cuckoo clock.’
When I asked him why, he said, ‘Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said ‘oh shit.’ Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.
In late. Was focusing on packing to move.