How about them gas prices...?
bttt
I really didn’t plan my outfit well today, I’m wearing a hoodie AND a trench coat. I’m probably the most suspicious looking person in the country.
The commanding officer at the Russian military academy (the equivalent
of a 4-star general in the U.S. ) gave a lecture on Potential Problems
and Military Strategy. At the end of the lecture, he asked if there
were any questions.
An officer stood up and asked, “Will there be a third world war? And,
will Russia take part in it?”
The general answered both questions in the affirmative.
Another officer asked, “Who will be the enemy?”
The general replied, “All indications point to China .”
Everyone in the audience was shocked.
A third officer remarked, “General, we are a nation of only 150
million, compared to the 1.5 billion Chinese. Can we win at all, or
even survive?”
The general answered, “Just think about this for a moment: In modern
warfare, it is not the quantity of soldiers that matters, but the
quality of an army’s capabilities. For example, in the Middle East we
have had a few wars recently where 5 million Jews fought against 150
million Arabs, and Israel was always victorious.”
After a small pause, yet another officer - from the back of the
auditorium asked,
“Do we have enough Jews?”
_____
An older couple were lying in bed one night.
The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.”
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said: “Then you used to kiss me. “ Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said: “Then you used to bite my neck.”
Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“To get my teeth!”
