Cops: Accused Prostitute Offered Undercover Officer Sex For Cheeseburgers Off McDonald's Dollar Menu

The Smoking Gun ^ | April 2, 2012 | The Smoking Gun

[Monkey Face]

...I owe that kid an apology.

Don't apologize until you have assessed the damage(s.) ;o]

[Tax-chick]

Bill got his curly hair from me.

[Tax-chick]

Call us ASAP with your checking account number and routing number (they’re on your checks) or FReepmail them to me.

[NicknamedBob]

"It just came up in conversation here recently, because of the thingie that got into the guy’s bloodstream while he was drunk."

I've finished the book. Again.

It's amazing to me how much of it I had forgotten. Of course, that's one of the advantages of a slipping memory; your library gets refilled every day.

[Anoreth]

What happened this time.

[Anoreth]

They should be on my bank statements anyway.

[Tax-chick]

We need it to file for your tax refund from the feds. The routing number is found only on your checks, or maybe you can find it online. We will pay the $15 you owe NC, and you can buy your dad some beer.

[Scoutmaster]

What’s the latest on your upper extremities?

The orthopedist is now casually discussing another, post-rehab, orthopedic procedure, which would be after the neuro procedure that's already dangling out there. I'm a happy camper.

[Tax-chick]

Your dad says phone, don’t freepmail it. Quickly because it’s due tomorrow.

[Monkey Face]

I have (had) six siblings. All (had) have curly hair. Me the black sheep...Native American heritage dictates that my hair be straight, that I have no freckles, and that I learn how to recognize animal tracks...

The only curls in the family come from the Scottish/Irish heritage. Both by-passed Yours Truly!

[Anoreth]

I don’t have any more checks.
I’ll call them in the morning I guess.

[ThomasThomas]

Taxes are due on the 17 this year. Monday is a holiday in Washington. Columbia’s Emancipation Day? Let me look that up.

Emancipation Day is a holiday in Washington DC to mark the anniversary of the signing of the Compensated Emancipation Act, which president Abraham Lincoln signed on April 16, 1862. It is annually held on April 16

Is this a paid holiday for only those working in D.C.?

I’ll ask someone lives in the area.

[null and void]

Instead it bounded forward and sprang toward me, my mind instantly filling with something which, when supplied with words, came through, roughly, as

It is more {satisfying/noble} to die with your{teeth/claws}{in/at} the {throat/heart} of the enemy of {nest/totem/civilization}! Die, nest molester!

[Tax-chick]

That’s fine, and then call me. How weird that tomorrow is a holiday.

[NicknamedBob]

Which Niven adroitly translated as:

"You scream and you leap."

[null and void]

Alright. I’ll jump first.
No.
Then you jump first.
No, I said.
What’s the matter with you?
I can’t swim.
Are you crazy? The fall will probably kill you!

[NicknamedBob]

So you’re saying it’s better to leap and then scream?

[null and void]

I’m saying it’s better not to leap if your tail will come off if someone tries to save you.

[null and void]

I don’t think it landed on its feet.

[NicknamedBob]

Bad luck, undoubtedly.