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The Smoking Gun ^ | April 2, 2012 | The Smoking Gun

[Darksheare]

"Give us the coordinates of Earth!" the voice echoed from out of nowhere
"NO" a defiant and familiar voice shouted in return.
Presently some more shouts and warnings were heard, the ceiling took on a bizarre lok as it appeared to bend and quiver in a most unwholesome way.
There was a curious dual-tone cacophany of noise, a strange high pitch tone coupled with a bone vibrating bass note that sounded as if it were a sneeze from God Himself.
A portal mawed open, a vile unnatural belching forth of the very fabric of space-time from somewhere other folding and connecting to here.
More cursing and shouting were heard, this time through the portal, strangely echoed and amplified by it, and the un-light of the portal indicated a shape was coming through.
A lone figure fell from the pulsating abomination swirling at the ceiling, firing some odd weaponry back through the portal, only to land with a thud on the center of the conference table.
The portal became unstable, deposited some stray pieces of alien equipment, and then vanished with a rude sound.
The witnesses around the table sat in stony silence.
"Am I late for the meeting?" said Darksheare as he stood up and dusted himself off, "I got here when I could."

[Monkey Face]

Ooooohhh! What a grand entrance, Sire!

[Darksheare]

Kinda painful though.
Dunno why those aien door to door salesmen wanted the coordinates of Earth for.

[Monkey Face]

Maybe they were trying to get some samples...

[Silentgypsy]

We have a few power packs from when we had a Costco membership, but we just DC’d the membership because it’s no longer cost effective. Do you order your products online?

[Silentgypsy]

Aren’t salespeople supposed to give samples?

[Monkey Face]

Sales PEOPLE, yes. Sales aliens, no. ;o]

[Tax-chick]

I think the invention is supposed to notify police with an alarm of some kind. Maybe a better way, if it’s ever brought to market, would be to wire it into a car’s alarm system.

[Tax-chick]

No egg today. I could have picked another kind of pepper, but they still look fine on the plant for now. We have some large tomatoes, but they’re still green. Forecast says 100+ for several days later this week; if I water everything thoroughly it should get us some large vegetables.

I have “Black Rednecks and White Liberals.” Thomas Sowell is America’s greatest living intellectual.

[Monkey Face]

One can only hope.
We can expeact at least six infant deaths a summer from cars, an ten from drowning.

[Tax-chick]

Werewolves don’t compare to Bill for tonsorial excellence.

Bill went skateboarding and then fell into bed, but I roused him when I pushed the “find the phone” button in the kitchen.

[Tax-chick]

It’s worth trying. The representative from Time Warner who was at the meeting said that their engineers will work with the young man to build a prototype and possibly get interest from a manufacturer.

We lost Tom in the van once, but it was night. He’d fallen asleep and fallen out of his seat to the floor. He was 4 or 5, I guess, because it was before Pat was born.

[Silentgypsy]

The Sowell book is riveting. Who’da thunk it? My minor was anthro and the cultural aspect of the book lends clarity to some of the social phenomena we’ve observed here.

Do you expect more eggplant? Just had a zucchini and sweet onion omelette with a slice of Mr. Sg’s pow meatloaf. Life is good!

[Darksheare]

Sales aliens take samples if memory serves.

[Scoutmaster]

Werewolves don’t compare to Bill for tonsorial excellence.

I'd ask you to take that up with Mr. Zevon himself but, alas, Warren is no longer with us. And I doubt Roland can speak for him given his condition.

If you'll excuse me, I need to look for Lee Ho Fook's. Aaoooooo!

[ColdOne]

Yes we did, Northern Tools.

[Tax-chick]

Each of my little plants has an eggplant on it. I’ll pick at least one by the weekend, and probably cook it with a random pepper and an egg again, since that worked out well.

[Silentgypsy]

When I was young, I had the chance to visit relatives “in the country.” The beauty of little peas straight out of the pod, sweet baby corn, and milk straight from the cow is still with me. Do your offspring appreciate the veggies?

[Silentgypsy]

Ack.

[Monkey Face]

Double ack.