Posted on 11/09/2008 2:51:28 AM PST by jla
I’ll be working to pay my self-employment taxes.
I won’t be watching TV.
I was kinda hoping to be kidnapped by space aliens or something.
I figure an alien probe or two can’t be any more invasive that what 0bama is going to do to my pocketbook and 2nd (and probably 1st and 5th) amendment rights.
I am going to write a vanity.
Contemplating my move overseas.
Looking for my local office where I can sign up to serve America, as part of the new Presidents Volunteer Program.
As I travel to the local office, (via bicycle of course)I decie to perform my Patriotic Duty and hand out all the money I have in my wallet, its nice sharing the wealth.
I continue on to my local America serves volunteer office, but I develop a flat in one of my tires, since I have recently shared all of my wealth I have no money left for repairs.
Oh well no harm done, I need the exercise anyway-have to stay in shape so I can do my share.
As I turn the corner I am jumped and held at knife point by two young individuals; (I assume they are doing the jobs Americans no longer want to do)they want all my money. I apologize to them and explain that I just recently did my Patriotic duty and shared the wealth with other great Americans who were not as fortunate as me. They kicked the living crap out of me. I felt sorry for them, it must have something to do with the economy-afterall this is the worst economy since the “Great Depression”
I stumbled into the Volunteer office, as I looked around the large room, I was overwhelmed with the feeling of true Patriotism.I was finally home, with people who wanted to make a difference just like me. I never felt so proud. Here we were the Civilian Army, ready and willing to volunter to serve for a greater cause. I was so excited wondering if we would get T-Shirts stating, “Civilian Army-Proud to Serve”..or maybe something real cool like a baseball cap; with a logo- CPI Civilian Police Investigaors; its not CSI, but it’s close. As Civilina Police we could patrole the wealthy suburbs and do investigative studies to ensure these rich people who are making over $250K are indeed paying their fair share.
Perhaps if I was really lucky, I could get a badge and work undercover in the DAP group. The word on the street was that this volunteer position was equivalent to our International Military Team’s Green Beret’s. Yes, as part of Barney Franks military cutbacks our US Military was purchased by Canada and renamed The International Military Team; the name change also allows for a kinder, gentler, military.
The extreme importance of the succes of the DAP team meant that they were only accepting the “best” volunteers. You had to be willing to give it all for this team. Afterall, the success of the team was priority 1. If the team was not successful our whole message of change would not be successful. I heard the covert team even had a motto; Yes We Can. How’s that for undercover motivation, take that Stephen Covey; who needs 7 Habits when we have those 3 motivating words.
I finally reached another happy volunteer who was taking our information on where and what we wanted to volunteer in. I was slighty amazed at the sofisticated computer software database that this volunteer group had..It looked like a combination of a financial history database combined with a civil informational database. I was impressed with the organization of this volunteer group.
When all my information was input into the database I was ready to go. My friendly volunteer behind the table asked what I was interested in. I was going to start small but in the spirit of giving I decided to make the total comittment. I asked if I could volunteer my time and energy with the DAP team. The gentlemen behind the table smiled and asked if I could make the total comittment and do anything for the team. As the rush of emotions ran through my body, I felt like I was going to burst; I never thought volunteering would make me feel this good..I answered him by saying, “Yes I Can”. He smiled, shook my hand, and handed me my badge. I was part of the DAP team now, and my badge number was 2012. I was never so proud. The smiling volunteer pointed to a large set of double doors near the back of the room, he stated, you will be briefed through those double doors. As I slowly made my way over to the double doors, I noticed a large banner stretched across the top of the doors. It read, Democrats Against Palin 2012.” I didn’t understand, is this what DAP was? All I was looking for was change, and then it hit me, this must be the Right Wing Conspiracy Hillary warned us about before we stomped her and through her under the bus..It was real, that’s the only explanation, but how did they do it, how could the Right Wing infiltrate something as patriotic as volunteering? As I walked into the room, standing at the podium was the answer, there in the flesh, ready to speak to us, Carl Rove - that’s how they did it, damn Carl Rove.
“I will be getting out of Washington as fast as I can. Go to craigslist.com and look at how many of these worms are looking for temporary housing for the inauguration. Good God, I wouldn’t let any of those pukes use my house. A lot are looking for handouts. Why does that surprise me”!
...if you do rent out your home, get cash up front. Then be prepared for “squatters rights”. They’ll stay there for 6 months. And believe me, a judge in DC will NOT kick them out in a hurry.
All,
Sorry for the vanity and it’s length...I had to relieve the stress.
Getting ready to escape to www.AJIJIC.com.
It’s a Tuesday. I’ll be at work.
Well, I WON’T be watching any TV! Maybe I’ll watch a DVD...something not quite so horrifying as real life...maybe “House of 1,000 Corpses.”
Drilling holes in the snow, screwing in gates, resetting gates that are knocked out, suggesting how my athletes can improve and then standing there while athletes go as fast as they can!
I say we all join him in celebration near the White House lawn as proud comrads and wave the biggest bunch of Communist flags while singing bolshevik songs!
The people voted for CHANGE and now we got it. We might as well crack a bottle of vodka and celebrate the incoming new form of government.
I say it’s high time to behave like ‘uniters’ behind the new BO president.
Put down the pretense and memory of a free republic, confront your nightmare, apologize to your children, and embrace their change.
I will be working on perfecting my goose-step march so that I may demonstrate ‘good form’ by occupation day.
That’s amusing, Gemsbok. However, I have already signed up to be a part of the resistance. They are probably already tracking me....
Ok, but I’m not buying a Che T-shirt. Gotta draw the line somewhere.
This way I have more money for the vodka I will surly “need”.
You may not have to if the DemocRats float the idea of an imputed income tax again and "somehow" it passes......
Neither have I.....just movies and food.....and no more stomach pains!!!!!!!
I will stand quietly beside my desk and give W a polite standing ‘O’. He did quite a decent job (all things considered), and I want to acknowledge that. Then, maybe bend a knee and say a prayer for the incoming president, and the nation that he will serve.
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