Posted on 03/14/2007 11:20:55 AM PDT by Mo1
LJ, I think he just showed up.....
With a flash and a bang..
They are armed.............
There. Fixed it.
I do think that was a good change, considering who it was to............
this may keep her wandering and chomping wood for days to come.
Sorry about the MS formatting.
Ahmadinejad is sitting in his mansion when the sat phone rings. He picks it up and says "Hello". The voice at the end of the phone says "Hello Ahmadinejad, it's Paddy here. I'm just ringing to let you know that we've declared war on Iran."
Ahmadinejad smiles to himself, "Come on Paddy", he says, "there's no point you declaring war on us, you wouldn't stand a chance." Paddy replies, "No, no, we’ve had ourselves a meeting, and we've decided to declare war on you."
So Ahmadinejad says, "OK Paddy, now listen, I've got an air force of over a thousand planes, what kind of air force have you got to match that?
It'd be over in no time." So Paddy says, "Well my lad's got himself a hot-air balloon, and my brother used to work at an airport." Ahmadinejad laughs, "Oh come on, you've not got a hope".
"Hold on a sec, Ahmadinejad,“ Paddy says, "We’ll just have a quick meeting." So off he goes and has a quick meeting. "Are you still there Mr. Ahmadinejad? Yes, well we've had our meeting, and we've decided that we're still going to declare war."
So Ahmadinejad says, "Right then Paddy, well you know, as well as the air force, we've also got about a thousand tanks. How are you going to match that?”
Well," Paddy says, "I've got an old Austin, and my cousin down the road has got a tractor."
"Get real,” says Ahmadinejad, "that's no match at all."
So Paddy says, "Hold on, I'll just go and have another meeting." "Are you still there Mr. Ahmadinejad? Yes, well we've had our meeting, and we've decided that we're still going to declare war."
Ahmadinejad thinks this is just amazing, "Well how many soldiers have you got Paddy?".
"Well," says Paddy, "there's me, my kid, me 4 cousins, and they all had sons, and there's Bill down the road.... I reckon I could get together about 30." Laughing openly now Ahmadinejad replies, "Come on Paddy, I've got 10,000 highly trained fighting men at my disposal. I think you'd better go and have another meeting."
"I will", says Paddy, "I will.” “Are you still there Mr. Ahmadinejad? Yes, well we've had our meeting, and we've decided that we're not going to declare war on you after all."
"At last,” replies SH, "What made you change your mind?"" “Well, it's those 10 thousand soldiers you see. We can't declare war on you because we've not got the facilities to keep all those prisoners!" Damn, it really screwed up the formatting!! Double sorry!
If you apologize to a drizzle loving rodent, it would be unseemly.........
Last word.
I think I wore you out........
:-)
Howdy, Cuttnhorse,
Yes I know Yuma well. Lived there a long time and yest 122 is just about average for a nice Yuma day where in nearly never rains. The snowbirds, while great for the encon, drove us Marines nuts trying to get to work in the morning. They would go to breakfast early and clog up the streets and it would take us even longer to get to the base.
Yuma has grown a great deal since we left. I kinda miss teh place myself. A friend is moving to Surprise AZ which is near Luke AFB.
That won't do....I want a triple sorry with sugar on top! :P
No, I went pot shopping while you were contemplating.
The kind you grow flowers in. :P
Armed with what, ovens and gingerbread gnomes.
That botched MS formatting mucked up our comments pages.
I had to apologize.
St. Patrick's Day is an enchanted time - a day to begin transforming winter's dreams into summer's magic. ~Adrienne Cook
You've heard I suppose, long ago,
How the snakes, in a manner most antic,
He marched to the county Mayo,
And trundled them into th' Atlantic
~William Maginn
If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky? ~Stanislaw J. Lec
Anyone acquainted with Ireland knows that the morning of St. Patrick's Day consists of the night of the seventeenth of March flavored strongly with the morning of the eighteenth. ~Author Unknown
For each petal on the shamrock
This brings a wish your way -
Good health, good luck, and happiness
For today and every day.
~Author Unknown
May your blessings outnumber
The shamrocks that grow,
And may trouble avoid you
Wherever you go.
~Irish Blessing
Oh, Paddy, dear, an' did ye hear the news that's goin' round?
The shamrock is forbid by law to grow on Irish ground!
No more St. Patrick's Day we'll keep, his colour can't be seen,
For there's a cruel law agin' the Wearin' o' the green.
~Author Unknown
When law can stop the blades of grass from growin' as they grow,
An' when the leaves in summer time their color dare not show,
Then I will change the color, too, I wear in my caubeen;
But till that day, plaise God, I'll stick to the Wearin' o' the Green.
~Author Unknown
May the Irish hills caress you.
May her lakes and rivers bless you.
May the luck of the Irish enfold you.
May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.
~Irish Blessing
So, success attend St. Patrick's fist,
For he's a saint so clever;
Oh! he gave the snakes and toads a twist,
And bothered them forever!
~Henry Bennett
Saint Patrick was a gentleman, who through strategy and stealth
Drove all the snakes from Ireland, here's a drink to his health!
But not too many drinks, lest we lose ourselves and then
Forget the good Saint Patrick, and see them snakes again!
~Author Unknown
Never iron a four-leaf clover, because you don't want to press your luck. ~Author Unknown
Oh, the music in the air!
An' the joy that's ivrywhere -
Shure, the whole blue vault of heaven is wan grand triumphal arch,
An' the earth below is gay
Wid its tender green th'-day,
Fur the whole world is Irish on the Seventeenth o' March!
~Thomas Augustin Daly
When Irish eyes are smiling,
'Tis like a morn in spring.
With a lilt of Irish laughter
You can hear the angels sing.
~Author Unknown
He was a terror to any snake that came in his path, whether it was the cold, slimy reptile sliding along the ground or the more dangerous snake that oppresses men through false teachings. And he drove the snakes out of the minds of men, snakes of superstition and brutality and cruelty. ~Arthur Brisbane
Oh, while a man may dream awake,
On gentle Irish ground,
'Tis Paradise without the snake -
That's easy to be found.
~Frederick Langbridge
For 'tis green, green, green, where the ruined towers are gray,
And it's green, green, green, all the happy night and day;
Green of leaf and green of sod, green of ivy on the wall,
And the blessed Irish shamrock with the fairest green of all.
~Mary Elizabeth Blake
O, the red rose may be fair,
And the lily statelier;
But my shamrock, one in three
Takes the very heart of me!
~Katherine Tynan
If you're enough lucky to be Irish, you're lucky enough! ~Irish Saying
There's a dear little plant that grows in our isle,
'Twas St Patrick himself, sure, that set it;
And the sun on his labor with pleasure did smile,
And with dew from his eye often wet it.
It thrives through the bog, through the brake, and the mireland;
And he called it the dear little shamrock of Ireland...
~Andrew Cherry
And about her courts were seen
Liveried angels robed in green,
Wearing, by St Patrick’s bounty,
Emeralds big as half the county.
~Walter Savage Landor
The shamrock on an older shore
Sprang from a rich and sacred soil
Where saint and hero lived of yore,
And where their sons in sorrow toil.
~Maurice Francis Egen
A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have. ~Author Unknown
What color should be seen
Where our fathers' homes have been
But their own immortal Green?
~Author Unknown
May luck be our companion
May friends stand by our side
May history remind us all
Of Ireland's faith and pride.
May God bless us with happiness
May love and faith abide.
~Irish Blessing
May your pockets be heavy and your heart be light,
May good luck pursue you each morning and night.
~Irish Blessing
Oh! St. Patrick was a gentleman
Who came of decent people;
He built a church in Dublin town,
And on it put a steeple.
~Henry Bennett
Wandered from the Antrim hills,
Wandered from the Killalas rills,
Patrick heard upon the breeze
Voices from the Irish seas.
~Author Unknown
If you hold a four-leaf shamrock in your left hand at dawn on St. Patrick's Day you get what you want very much but haven't wished for. ~Patricia Lynch
With the frost he kindled fire;
Drove the snakes from brake and brier,
Hurling out the writhing brood
With the lightning of his rood.
~Edwin Markham
There's ne'er a mile in Ireland's Isle where the dirty vermin musters;
Where'er he put his dear forefoot he murdered them in clusters.
The toads went hop, the frogs went flop, slapdash into the water,
And the beasts committed suicide to save themselves from slaughter.
~Old Irish Song
When after the Winter alarmin',
The Spring steps in so charmin',
So fresh and arch
In the middle of March,
Wid her hand St. Patrick's arm on...
~Alfred Percival Graves
The list of Irish saints is past counting; but in it all no other figure is so human, friendly, and lovable as St. Patrick - who was an Irishman only by adoption. ~Stephen Gwynn
Leprechauns, castles, good luck and laughter
Lullabies, dreams, and love ever after.
Poems and songs with pipes and drums
A thousand welcomes when anyone comes.
~Author Unknown
An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth. ~Irish Saying
Many an opportunity is lost because a man is out looking for four-leaf clovers. ~Author Unknown
I don't normally point out peoples mistakes, LJ.....but you misspelled the "F" word. :P
"It ain't easy being green"
*Triple eyeroll*
Not sure about that mascot though.
:-)
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