Posted on 03/09/2007 4:57:01 AM PST by Lucky9teen
1- Zero Gravity
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly
discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero
gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a
decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero
gravity, upside-down, on almost any surface including glass
and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300
C. The Russians used a pencil. (Your taxes are due again --
enjoy paying them)
2 - Our Constitution
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq.
Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot
of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years....and
we're not using it anymore.
3 - Ten Commandments
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a
Courthouse is that you can't post "Thou Shalt Not Steal",
Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in
a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It
creates a hostile work environment.
This happened on a flight getting ready to depart for New Orleans.
Jack was sitting on the plane when a guy took the seat beside him.
The guy was an emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear.
"What's the matter?" Jack asked.
"I've been transferred to New Orleans, there's crazy people there.
They've got lots of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools,and the highest crime rate."
Jack replied, "I've lived in New Orleans all my life. It's not as bad as the media says.
Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a nice private school.
It's as safe a place as anywhere in the world."
The guy relaxed and stopped shaking and said, "Oh, thank you. I've been worried to death.
But if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. What do you do for a living?"
"Me?" said Jack. "I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."
Senator Hillary Clinton was invited to address a major gathering of The
American Indian nation two weeks ago in upper New York State ...She spoke
for almost an hour on her future plans for increasing every Native
American's present standard of living, should she one day become the first
female President.
She referred to her career as a New York Senator, how she had signed "yes"
for every Indian issue that came to her desk for approval. Although the
Senator was vague on the details of her plan, she seemed most enthusiastic
about her future ideas for helping her "red sisters and brothers".
At the conclusion of her speech, the Tribes presented
the Senator with a plaque inscribed with her
new Indian name - WALKING EAGLE.
The proud Senator then departed in her motorcade, waving to the crowds. A
news reporter later inquired of the group of chiefs of how they had come
to select the new name given to the Senator.
They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of
sh!t it can no longer fly.
ping
Geico cavemen...
Finally, a new bumper sticker for BOTH political parties.
This hottest selling political bumper sticker comes from New York State:
"RUN HILARY RUN'
Democrats put it on the rear bumper.
Republicans put it on the front bumper.
;-)
I'll have to wait to I get home. As stated before, work has photobucket (and now youtube) blocked.
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