Posted on 03/01/2006 6:50:43 PM PST by KevinDavis
Let's review the evidence. (1) He posts lots of astronomy threads. (2) His first initial is the same as Klaatu and his last one is the same as Darth. (3) He's from Illinois - I'm not sure what the connection is, but it seems dang suspicious to me. (4) To H*ll with number 4. You want a number 4 think up yer own dang number 4. (5) He posts lots of astronomy threads.
Your number's up, Mister Kevin Xortan Davis from the Planet Zoob! HAH!
Always have the Gary Wright song "Dream Weaver" in your head. I have had that song constantly in my head and have NEVER been abducted.
Of course, there are some drawbacks...
Most abductees are abducted while they sleep. Best advise: never sleep.
Cover exposed.. I'm here illegally....
The Firesign Theater had this pegged long ago!
(One second burst of ringing alarm bell)
"What to do if an alien appears! ONE!"
(The General): "Drop beneath the seat of your plane and look away."
"TWO!"
(The General): "Avoid eye contact."
"THREE!"
(The General): "If there are no eyes, avoid ALL contact."
It will all become clear.
2. Resist verbally.
Firmly tell the EBE to leave you alone.
5. EBE also hate the sound and feel of human gas, while they can not smell it, it still oozes into their large pores, setting off discomforting and embarrassing color changes. Fart Loudly in the direction of the EBE and run. This offense It is your best defense.
LOL!
Can't touch this.
Don't mock me, my friend. It's a condition of "mental divergence". I find myself on another planet, Ogo, part of an intellectual elite, preparing to subjugate barbarian hordes on Pluto. But even though it's a totally convincing reality in every way...I can feel, breathe, hear...nevertheless, Ogo is actually a construct of my psyche. I am mentally divergent in that I am escaping certain unnamed realities that plague my life here. When I stop going there, I will be well. Are you also divergent, friend?
Sort of like splashing in the water near a shark......
4. Avoid calling attention to grammatical or typographical errors.
It only irritates the EBE. Don't even think it (remember rule #1, they may be psychic).
And remember, while continuing to practice rule #2, don't forget rule #3, "you will not know what it other more sensitive areas are".
Yes, wrap tinfoil around head. Best defense.
Ten-four. I'll go make a couple gallons of coffee, and get a 12-gauge shotgun.
I'd like to see those dirty Greys try and abduct me.
I'll blow their cranial chambers back to the Stone Age!!
Yes.. I'm actually from the planet Tiber... On Tiber the females are good looking and run around naked.. Our goal is to take over this planet.. Just don't tell everyone....
Having wrapped the Official Muttly Pup Tent with rare and valuable KAISER Aluminum (Reynolds is owned by aliens, evidently) seems to have "foiled" their strongest attempts of late, even though Kenneth has changed the frequency several times.
Of course, like everyone else, during heightened sunspot activity, me sleep in deep, photoluminescent cave, while suspended by bungee cords.
'Works for me, so far.
Oh crap, you took away my life's new ambition.........
Exactly.
It just encourages the aliens.
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