The Hobbit Hole VIII - Still round the corner we may meet...

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[Fedora]

Those are all those pretend elves like work for Santa.

Oh, they're not pretend!--matter of fact, they're unionized and they've been giving Santa a headache lately:

Santa Claus vs. Elves, Reindeer, and Teamsters

[Fedora]

I'm sure that's cool and all, but it can't taste very good. :)

I know it looks that way, but they're great with melted butter!--kinda like breadsticks only bigger. Also make good chopsticks for Ents. . .

[Fedora]

I thought it was the Keebler Elves vs the Kellog Elves.

Doh! You're right! :)

[Overtaxed]

Elfin Magic vs. Rice Krispies

[Overtaxed]

Elf unions killed the industry and off-shored all the elf jobs.

[Fedora]

Elfin Magic vs. Rice Krispies

That's the one!--thanks! :)

[Fedora]

Elf unions killed the industry and off-shored all the elf jobs.

Exactly. Which was the work of the same Trolls who infiltrated the Elf unions and implemented PC hiring policies. Here's some pictures from the latest Troll-agitated Elf uprising. The issue starts off with Badger meeting Santa drinking in a bar:

[Badger] "Klaus--Klaus. . .The guy with the reindeer!"

[Santa] "Not no more--not since them animal rights nuts started picketing my shop. . ."

Dialogue:

[Johann the Troll agitator]"I'm not hiding, old fat man! Here I am bloated pervert! You grow fat off the labor of Elves! No more!"

[Santa]"You mean Johann's taking over the plant--or trying to! The Elves were happy enough until you came, you socialist sphincter!"

[Badger]"I always thought he was, you know--this jolly fat old man. I guess you gotta be tough to stay on top so long."

"[Santa] "You think you're hot snot 'cause you organized a few malcontents--you're just another pissant! People think I'm just a fat slob. Maybe I am a little overweight--but this fat man can handle himself! Go on--get out! I'll send your check care of Zurich!. . .[Looks at Badger and Elves] Well? What are you staring at?"

[Fedora]

See photographic proof of Santa's Elves in 4,847 :)

So how's the race coming?

[Overtaxed]

Big One.

[Overtaxed]

Socialist Elves.

[Fedora]

Socialist Elves.

Makes you wonder where the profits from 'nilla wafers are really going. Has anyone checked Teresa Heinz-Kerry's tax records?

[Overtaxed]

Hmmmm....off shore accounts and money-laundering....

[Fedora]

Hmmmm....off shore accounts and money-laundering....

I bet that Ted Sandyman's involved somehow--probably sells illicit pipeweed to Saruman in exchange for the laundered money, which then gets smuggled by those Elf Caravans that are always passing through the Shire unnoticed--hmmm. . .

[Overtaxed]

Yeah....all those tears about leaving Middle Earth is a bunch of crap. They're just following the money.

[Fedora]

Mmm-hmm. "Gray Havens"--more like Offshore Account Havens! What was "Into the West" really about?--I've heard that if you play it backwards there are subliminal messages in it. . .

[Overtaxed]

Grey Havens = Tax Havens?

[mstar]

More Troop Packages

Wn, great doings as usual. Thanks again for your care and work to reach out to our troops. (will try to send some help from here when we can) Will continue our prayers.

[Wneighbor]

Coupla big ones there. Sorry, was gone a bit. Had company drop by. Fortunately it was race-lovin' company and we watched the race while he was here.

Back to normal now. Watching with you, re-heating leftover carne guisada.

[Overtaxed]

Did we lose ya?

[Fedora]

You know, I think I just figured out their secret. Numenor didn't sink after all--that's just a cover story. Numenor is really the center of their operation; and they have casinos there as well. That's where all the stuff is going once it leaves the Gray Havens.