Quick chart from that page:
and that page references this study (via Wayback Machine):
Posted on 08/17/2022 11:56:17 AM PDT by Rummyfan
Another reference I had reviewed awhile ago.
https://web.archive.org/web/20220120105856/http://before-i-do.org/
The takeaway:
“Consider sex. The vast majority of Americans—about 90 percent—have sex before marriage (Finer, 2007). Many of them have sex with multiple partners before finding the person they will eventually marry. Do premarital sexual relationships relate to later marital quality? Yes and no. It depends on who you are having sex with. Men and women who ONLY slept with their (future) spouse prior to marriage reported higher marital quality than those who had other sexual partners as well. Further, FOR WOMEN, having had fewer sexual partners before marriage was also related to higher marital quality. This doesn’t mean that sex before marriage will doom a marriage, but sex with many different partners may be risky if you’re looking for a high-quality marriage.”
The other studies I have seen have shown higher number of sex partners for women increase divorce chances. Pair bonding damage.
The study I gave you uses a much larger national data set and shows that sexual biography has the same effect on men’s marital happiness.
Marital happiness isnt the same as the studies that show the more partners a woman has, it severely damages her pair bonding ability, but they do not find the same in men.
Men may be unhappy but thats independent of their pair bonding ability. Your flaw is you equate the marital happiness and pair bonding avility, whichis not correct.
Women end marriages at a 4:1 ratio than men. That is directly tied to damaged pair bonding ability. Men stick it out in an unhappy marriage because they get raped in “family”court because noone cares what happens to them.
The topic is about women and their choices. Credit the author writing this article for not blaming men for her choices (blaming her upbringing is another topic). Yet, some of the folks that read into this, then immediately go into white knight mode and start sputtering and pointing about men - when they had nothing to do with her story.
I understand. I don’t like being libeled as a liar.
That is a deep, ego busting truth. Women deep down know this is a truth, and its rare to see one actually admit it.
Until you provide a link to this vaunted pair-bonding study in humans, I will continue to think you are FOS.
Don’t care.
I see your still providing links and research, and YET, they cant even read it. Like talking to a 4 year old.
Zero. What does that have to do with being a slut?
https://market-ticker.org/akcs-www?post=246450
From market ticker, mature subject matter and language.
Quick chart from that page:
and that page references this study (via Wayback Machine):
Just so you realize, when the original study was done, it only looked at women, because at the time the NSFG didn’t collect male sexual histories. It has since been done for men and same effect found. The greater number of partners = greater risk of divorce for both sexes.
The simplest explanation is that promiscuous people suck at commitment. The next most obvious is that the more partners you have, the more likely you are to be bringing one or more children into the next relationship. Third, substance abuse and promiscuity are chicken and egg behaviors, regardless of which came first, they both destroy marriages.
Last but not least, correlation is not causation.
2) Of the divorces, does it say the women initiated more often, in either case?
I agree you bring up possibly significant cofactors.
However, I think that there are a few significant differences between men and women.
1) Women are more likely to pair bond with their first sexual partner. Try looking for the short YouTube clip "What does a virgin say after her first BJ" for example.
2) While both women and men lose the ability to pair bond after multiple sexual partners, the corrosion occurs much more quickly in women. p> 3) As fa "Roger, how COULD you!!?"
"Believe me baby, she meant *nothing* to me, it was just a fling!"
Whereas if a woman cheats on her husband, he doesn't even bother to ask. They both know it's over. Women generally don't cheat on a man they are in love with.
Bah, correcting for formatting.
= = = =
Go back to the studies, and check on two things.
1) the shape of the curve for men plotting divorce (within whatever time frame) on the Y-axis, # of premarital parters on the left. If there is information on sexual experience being exclusively non PIV intercourse, vs. intercourse, include that.
Compare that to the shape of the curve for women.
2) Of the divorces, does it say the women initiated more often, in either case?
I agree you bring up possibly significant cofactors.
However, I think that there are a few significant differences between men and women.
1) Women are more likely to pair bond with their first sexual partner. Try looking for the short YouTube clip “What does a virgin say after her first BJ” for example.
2) While both women and men lose the ability to pair bond after multiple sexual partners, the corrosion occurs much more quickly in women.
3) As far as the hapless spouse who married the rake / hoe, consider the following conversation between a man and a wife, where she has just discovered he has cheated on her.
“Roger, how COULD you!!?”
“Believe me baby, she meant *nothing* to me, it was just a fling!”
Whereas if a woman cheats on her husband, he doesn’t even bother to ask. They both know it’s over. Women generally don’t cheat on a man they are in love with.
Points 1 and 3 are non-reality entertainment based red herrings. Male infidelity is still the number one reason women cite for filing for divorce. Women tolerate cheating even less when they have education and jobs.
Another aspect that men do not want to admit, but men have higher rates of dysfunction, addiction, criminality, violence, mental illness, etc. Eventually, even the dumbest woman figures out he’s not fixable and files to protect her children and any resources left.
Lastly, the sexy but shiftless bad boys that eventually get kicked to the curb are not the type to file first or at all. If women didn’t take care of their paperwork for them, they’d be bigamists.
I disagree vehemently with #2 that bonding corrode more quickly in women for two reasons. First, women aren’t as sex driven as men. If their bonding mechanism was so easily corroded, they would simply stop trying to have relationships with men at all. Secondly, women produce 2-3 times more oxytocin than men and not just during sex. I am not buying the theory that women who pretty much bathe in oxy have a more fragile bonding system than men.
No go out an marry those sloots. More detail: With a 50 percent divorce rate, with 70% of women being the filers for DV. Alcholism rates amongst the womens skyrocketing along with 1 out 4 women being on SSRis.
The simple act of not being a slut, will allow you to avoid this.
Since you mentioned entertainment, there's a comedy duo named Puke and Snot who play the various Renaissance Festivals.
In one of them, Puke says he's running for office and say's he's not pro-choice.
Puke: I don't think women should be allowed to choose.
Snot (incredulously): You're against a woman's right to choose?
Puke (pointing): Of course not. See our audience? Just take a look at some of the Bozos these women have chosen!
The woman's eternal fantasy is the rogue with the heart of gold -- from Han Solo to Romancing the Stone to Fifty Shades. It's always an unthinking unfeeling brute, and the woman is drawn to him like a moth to fire, convinced that only she can see the hurt, frightened little boy within and all he needs is the love of a good woman, namely, herself.
Then when it falls through she blames men or the patriarchy.
Since no woman can ever take responsibility for her own actions.
Women sleep with men, and these days, seek marriage, primarily via tingles. And the good men just don't titillate her nether regions like a bad boy. The answer is that women need to start shaming other women for their promiscuity, which they don't any more: first, the battle cry is "You can't JUDGE me!" And second, a woman's definition of a slut is "another woman who's had sex with a greater number of men, than I have."
Try reading the link I posted in #131 this thread.
As to your last paragraph. First, women aren’t as sex driven as men. If their bonding mechanism was so easily corroded, they would simply stop trying to have relationships with men at all.
For the bonding, it's like a piece of scotch tape. Stick it to one surface, fine. But the more you take it off and put it on a second surface, and a third, the less and less it will stick.
But it makes a difference what surface you attach the tape to, how long it is stuck, and how you pull it off, too.
The pick-up artists have a saying: "Five minutes of alpha is worth a lifetime of beta." A woman usually gets damaged (other than assault) in one of two ways: she falls for a guy way above her, thinks the sex she gives obligates him to make the relationship permanent, and he dumps her. This is analogous to the beta simp who thinks that "being nice" and "not like those bad men" *obligates* the woman of his fancy, to be attracted to him.
The mistakes made by men and women are analogous, but askew.
Bonding is not like scotch tape. Bonding is a physiological process involving hormones, most particularly oxytocin, it is a real and physical and it doesn’t get less sticky with use, it gets more sticky with use (from a female perspective).
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