As I sit here drinking myself stupid...oh wait im stupid already for drinking...it occurs to me that turning to the news is as entertaining as turning to a movie. The upside is its always a new act...i cant watch jason borne anymore (can i blame him for my alcoholism?). caps schmaps. oh yes...the news is a drama-sensationalized gig that has me enthralled. except there are no actors...sucks to be in the spotlight. i can hide...no one cares. I want the guy that plays peter stzrok to get whacked. off that cuss.
The piano has been drinking, my necktie is asleep
And the combo went back to new york, the jukebox has to take a leak
And the carpet needs a haircut, and the spotlight looks like a prison break
And the telephone’s out of cigarettes, and the balcony is on the make
And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
And the menus are all freezing, and the light man’s blind in one eye
And he can’t see out of the other
And the piano-tuner’s got a hearing aid, and he showed up with his mother
And the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
As the bouncer is a sumo wrestler cream-puff Casper milktoast
And the owner is a mental midget with the i.q. of a fence post
Cause the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
And you can’t find your waitress with a Geiger counter
And she hates you and your friends and you just can’t get served without her
And the box-office is drooling, and the bar stools are on fire
And the newspapers were fooling, and the ash-trays have retired
Cause the piano has been drinking, the piano has been drinking
The piano has been drinking, not me, not me, not me, not me, not me