I had a red flag of doom once.
My father raised the red flag of doom once, only once. Johnny Dangerously.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iD7QYQZg34
Me too! They're really great for drying the dishes, or keeping the sun off your neck. And if you're out in the woods somewhere, and don't have any toilet paper along, the ol' "Red Flag of Doom" can save your butt (one time only ;^)!
A couple of courses of penicillin would probably do the trick.