One day in the future, Barack Obama has a heart-attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil meets him on entry...
“I don’t know what to do here,” says the devil. “You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. I’ve got a couple of folks here who weren’t quite as bad as you. I’ll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I’ll even let YOU decide who leaves.”
Obama thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over he dived in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.
“No,” Obama said “I don’t think so. I’m not a good swimmer, and I don’t think I could do that all day long.”
The devil led him to the door of the next room. In it was Al Gore with a sledge-hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
“No, this is no good; I’ve got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day,” commented Obama.
The devil opened a third door. Through it, Obama saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Obama looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, “Yeah man, I can handle this.”
The devil smiled and said........... (this is priceless):
“OK, Monica, you’re free to go.”
Obama arrived in Hell. Satan asked him “What’s your heart’s desire? I’ll let you spend eternity doing it!”
“Uh, I like to play golf! Yeah - gimme that!”
“Very well,” and with a snap of his fingers, Satan showed him a 36-hole course with a beautiful clubhouse, long fairways, perfectly placed hazards, rolling hills, and velvety greens.
“Wow!” exclaimed Obama. “This is great!”
Next the Devil gave him a set of clubs so well balanced that Barry felt he had been swinging them all his life. “Perfect - just perfect!” he said to the Prince of Darkness. “I’m glad you approve,” he smiled.
Out to the first tee they stepped, ready for a game. Obama said: “What a course! Give me the ball.” The Devil answered: “Sorry….we have no golf balls here. Enjoy your eternity!”