I am trying to stay positive about it but it feels as though we are working ourselves to death for a pittance after NYS gets it’s share!
We lived in upstate NY when I was a kid. One of Dad's close friends lived on Texas Lane and he switched three of his mailbox address letters around to read "100 Taxes Lane." I was about 12 at the time (this is 1963!) and I can still hear them complaining about all the taxes they sent to Albany which then sent their money to NYC. I didn't understand it at the time nor did I know that was my first introduction to out-of-control insane Democrat government.
We left NYS, went to Missouri for 7 years, and I found my way to California which was stable, conservative and prosperous at the end of the Reagan governorship era. At least here we have the "Jarvis-Gann Amendment" (aka Proposition 13) which has protected us on property taxes (but state and local taxes are punishingly high).
Good luck to you. You have a rough situation. Things just aren't right when you feel you are working for the damnable government instead of yourself.
Is your husband charging enough for his services?
NY - The Vampire State