I went through this, after 16 years married. You are receiving good advice here from FReepers. When you list all of your assets, be sure to include furniture. Sometimes inheritances are exempt from property split, so if either of you inherited something that was then put into joint property, it might be backed out or considered as belonging to the one who inherited. If you are able to defer receiving any money, such as reimbursed work expenses, etc., that might be a way to keep some cash coming your way later.
Two other items to consider are whether or not you are in a Community Property state, and what is the age of majority for children in your state. It is likely someone will pay child support to/through that age.
Depending on your financial circumstances, you might looking at temporarily suspending contributions to your HSA and/or 401(k), if it seems like either of those will be split 50-50.
Good luck to you. It is a very long process, and not at all easy, under the best circumstances.
The key that put me over the edge to move forward on it was my son, who was 8 at the time, had been presented with some lesson in school, which discussed “healthy families” and things that healthy families do. And he pointed out to me that ours was not doing those things. Then I knew, I had to act. Within a few days of that conversation, before I had actually seen a lawyer, the ex- missed an evening activity at the school, in order to go drink with his work buddies. Reinforced the decision, and my son was highly upset, told me he knew what was more important to dad. People might criticize, but hold your head high.
“Within a few days of that conversation, before I had actually seen a lawyer, the ex- missed an evening activity at the school, in order to go drink with his work buddies.”
After a long day of him toiling at work to pay your bills and sustain your lifestyle, I’m sure.
“the ex- missed an evening activity at the school, in order to go drink with his work buddies. Reinforced the decision, and my son was highly upset, told me he knew what was more important to dad. People might criticize, but hold your head high.”
I’m sure convincing your son that his father’s world must revolve around him and succumb to his will has done wonders for his emotional well being, particularly now that his father is no longer around as the result of that belief.