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To: B4Ranch
I blew a left front tire one night about 1:00AM on I-20 in Mississippi. I Thank God for the low traffic volume because I had no control over the truck when it headed for the median which dropped down about twenty feet into a gully. ... .

...then Earl took out a match and scratched his pants and lit up the unused half of a dollar cigar and took a puff. Says "My, ain't this purty up here!"
I says, "Earl, this hill can spill us. You better slow down or you gonna kill us. Just make one mistake and it's the Pearly Gates for them eight-five crates a' USDA-approved cluckers. You wanna hit second?"

[Wolf Creek Pass, way up on the Great Divide;
Truckin' on down the other side...


Well, Earl grabbed on the shifter and he stabbed her into fifth gear and then the chromium-plated, fully-illuminated genuine accessory shift knob come right off in his hand. I says, "You wanna screw that thing back on, Earl?"
He was tryin' to thread it on there when the fire fell off a' his cigar and dropped on down, sorta rolled around, and then lit in the cuff of Earl's pants and burned a hole in his sock. Yeah, sorta set him right on fire.

I looked on outta the window and I started in a-countin' phone poles, goin' by at the rate of four to the seventh power. Well I put two and two together, and added twelve and carried five; come up with twenty-two thousand telephone poles an hour.

I looked at Earl and his eyes was wide, his lip was curled, and his leg was fried. And his hand was froze to the wheel like a tongue to a sled in the middle of a blizzard. I says, "Earl, I'm not the type to complain; but the time has come for me to explain that if you don't apply some brake real soon, they're gonna have to pick us up with a stick and a spoon."

Well, Earl rared back, and cocked his leg, stepped as down as hard as he could on the brake, and the pedal went clear to the floor and stayed there, right there on the floor. He said it was sorta like steppin' on a plum.

Well, from there on down it just wasn't real purdy: it was hairpin county and switchback city. One of 'em looked like a can full'a worms; another one looked like malaria germs. Right in the middle of the whole damn show was a real nice tunnel, now wouldn't you know?

Sign says clearance to the twelve-foot line, but them chickens was stacked to thirteen-nine. Well we shot that tunnel at a hundred-and-ten, like gas through a funnel and eggs through a hen, and we took that top row of chickens off slicker than scum off a Lousiana swamp. Went down and around and around and down 'til we run outta ground at the edge of town. Bashed into the side of the feed store... in downtown Pagosa Springs....

Wolf Creek Pass, way up on the Great Divide, Truckin' on down the other side,

Wolf Creek Pass, way up on the Great Divide,
Truckin' on down, the other side!


80 posted on 08/01/2016 10:44:40 AM PDT by archy (Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except bears, they'll kill you a little, and eat you.)
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To: archy

There’s two things ‘wrong’ with that song. There is no way a trucker would haul just 85 crates a’ USDA-approved cluckers. Eighty five crates might stack up to three foot nine, not thirteen-nine.

The best part of that video is lookin at all the tire marks where the trucker decides WHOA, slow down big girl. That’s a long drop off the sides there.


81 posted on 08/01/2016 11:27:18 AM PDT by B4Ranch ("The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.")
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