I am so so sorry rfreedom4u. I understand as I lost my 15 year old son a year and a half ago. It hurt so bad I couldn’t even post a prayer request here. In fact I never even acknowledged it here until after a year.
My only advice is not to feel guilty. It doesn’t matter if you are as pure in your relationships as the driven snow.... satan will fill your head with guilt about all the “shoulda’s”. Jesus loves you and your daughter. He is kind and merciful to an extent we cannot even imagine. Your child is at peace now, and doing a lot better than you are....... as is mine.
When you are ready, freepmail me. I will send you a letter I wrote about an answer to prayer that showed me my boy is ok and with Jesus. It might help.
I ask Jesus to find him and give him a hug as often as the grief sweeps over me. My son may be glad when I get there..... he won’t be interrupted as often. 8-)
I saw your post #184 just now.
Prayers offered for you as well. God bless.