I'm sorry to hear that your relative had a bad experience with her ministry and that you did not have a great experience either, but that kind of experience can be said of many churches out there.
Not that I need to defend, but your comments were rather pointed.
You mentioned recruitment. Recruitment in the form of evangelism is exactly what Jesus told his disciples to do. Go and make disciples. Jesus recruited all the time. We don't call it recruitment, but evangelism. More churches should seek to increase the faith and the faithful. Why is that a bad thing?
You mentioned “Wednesdays” as a primary meeting. In my opinion and experience, Sundays are for worship and Wednesdays are for study series or family style church talks. Do other churches have midweek services? Yes, and the first century church appears to have met on a daily basis at times. Why is that a bad thing?
You mentioned “17 or 19” steps. Is that what Cult Watch is throwing out? There are study series that can be shared that are Bible based. There are many studies out there for new disciples, campus, single and and marrieds. Jesus said to go and make disciples and TEACH them. We do believe that there are steps like the following, Hear, Believe, Repent, Confess, and Baptism. Not everyone knows the how and the why. Why is teaching the Word to someone a bad thing?
You mentioned meeting places on campus or otherwise. The first century disciples met in people's homes and in public places. Many of our congregations have purchased and maintained long term buildings and places of worship. Others still rent out other churches, schools or convention rooms. Some will base worship on the building rather than from the heart. Why is a deed or title to a building a requisite of worship?
You mentioned that we are “still telling recruits not to trust their parents.” That's just simply not true, but I will point out that Jesus did tell his disciples, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” Which in my study leads me to believe that your love for God must be so great that any appearance of any other love would seem as hate. Why is loving God more than anything a bad thing?
I agree with you. I have my way of believing in Christ and interpreting the Bible and you have yours. I would argue that many of the congregations out there aren't compatible with God's plan of worship.
From our website, it is clear that our only intention is in the interest of seeking and saving the lost by reaching out through evangelism and mission. Changing lives for Christ is not a bad thing. More churches out there should try it.
Luke 19:10
Acts 2:42
Mat 28:18
Luke 14:26
There is plenty of information out there on the ICOC. It even pops up often in discussions of cults in general. Everyone can read about it for themselves with a simple google search and draw their own conclusions. I just did to refresh my memory. This is a good one to start with. After 20 years, I know you are familiar with this site too.