Replies

Ask her what she did with it.

I trusted her totally. I'm afraid if I ask her she will not remember, she would say I got it in the settlement of my father's estate, she could have taken half of it which may have been her right (I forgot my father was on it as co-something but I got the 1099's).

I'd rather not know because it's painful what happened with the next estate. I never got over $70K, my share of the cash from my aunt's estate. I asked her what happened to it and she said it probably went in a business account. It should have been put in an account in my name in a separate account.

I think they thought I would blow the money like I did and I also think they wanted to buy me out of my share of property so they left everything in the estate (another relative) since 1989.

I got into a financial difficulty and wanted my property in my name so we had a long legal battle. I accidentally found where I had signed the papers where I had received the cash and the property. I didn't even get a copy of the will (this was another relative) which is some kind of executor malfeasance.

She was using my power of attorney and acting in my name for all sorts of things concerning my affairs and just gave me money when I needed it which I didn't need too much. I think she was afraid I would screw it all up.

I never thought this could happen. What really set me off is they threatened me. If I didn't sign papers and a release over to them now, they were going to file a suit against me. That made me furious. And it happened again, and I got mad again and got my own lawyer.

That is how I found out what all had been going on. Because I didn't cave and found various proofs I ended up with my property in my name and what I consider an equitable cash settlement, especially since I didn't forget they won a car worth $10K and offered it to me; I didn't want it because I liked my car, so they gave me FMV which was a nice thing to do.

It still hurts; I finally got threatened a third time with a law suit and caved because by then I knew what a partition suit was. I realized they had the money and the clout in a state with corrupt judges and if I lost I'd have and it was the way she said, "We'd win!" on the phone.

I'm still hurting about it. My father would have been upset. Never ever no matter how much you trust someone, make an unlimited power of attorney with no expiration date on it.

Now I see things about our relationship going all the way back and I see how we didn't really have much of a relationship at all ever. She was younger than me, prettier than me, smarter than me, went to the Ivy league school, married a wealthy banker and my life through MY OWN CHOICES brought me so low.

Now I am managing all my own affairs myself including a farm and selling my half of crops and am being very responsible.

Family relationships are so delicate. We were a family who didn't fight over property, wills, etc. All my life I just gave in to her; it wasn't worth fighting over. Finally I had to fight. It still hurts so bad and I don't feel the trust I felt for them before and I do appreciate what they have done that was nice and for my children, made their Christmas every year, sent them nice presents.

So they aren't bad people. It's just something that I have to face up to. I have been cursed with this mental illness for so many years, I am able to function mentally very well but I can't travel. I can't go to visit them or anyone.

I'm afraid to ask her what she did with it. I don't write to her very often. She was coming down to see me for my 1 hour per year. Then she got sick. I wrote and hoped she was ok. Then I remembered she won't come in my house because it is messy. It's not that bad but cluttered and I can't wash the windows. It's not packed with trash, not like that.

We had to sit in the car the last time she came. She wouldn't come in.

I don't know what to do. I want to repair the damage but if I can't totally forgive her or still feel the hurt (now it's a lifetime of it which some things are certainly not her fault and I know it), I don't want a relationship like that any more.

A lot of things I had forgotten since my childhood. When I was about 50, the memories started flooding back. I have to look at things that are very painful that I blew off at the time. I have a therapist but I don't get anywhere with anything but at least she listens and I get an hour and by the time I leave I am so upset and hyperventilating and unsteady on my feet I can hardly stand at the desk to get my next appointment.

II think I'm not being fair to her. Or myself. I don't ever want to face my brother-in-law again and I used to respect him and brag about how proud i was of them and all the neat things they had and did.

While all this was going on with my sister, my son killed himself at age 42 two years ago come Dec 5. He changed his life ins beneficiaries to his two sisters, my daughters. They ended up in my son's widow contesting the beneficiary change.

I have encouraged my daughters, helped her lawyers, insisted on always the truth; it was going to go to jury trial, $1.5 million. Finally today my daughter came over and showed me the papers and her check $400K. Her sister got $400K. And we got his two boys $200K each in a trust managed by a third party so his wives can't manage it. And the stepson got the interest when they finally got it in an interest bearing account will get about $32K now because he's 18. I asked the lawyers if they could make the boys age 25 to have the proceeds and that's how they did it. It's all so complicated.

The lawyers ended up with I think about $300K. It's such a relief that all the ugliness you cannot imagine what people can do to others on account of money. She had people lined up to lie for her; my daughters had to prove they didn't do it. Dirt after dirt after dirt. They had my children's father and stepmother lined up to testiffy AGAINST his own daughters.

My son's wife had been having an affair with his friend and business partner, had a child by him well after my son died. Now she hates my daughters so they won't be able to have a relationship with the boys and neither will I; in my case it hurts too much.

I still feel for people I don't know. Yesterday there was a bad accident, and I could tell from the photo that somebody didn't make it. I prayed for them all with tears streaming down my eyes. Somebody got up yesterday morning and didn't know they would be dead that day, right before Thanksgiving. Today you know how these things work, they identified the victim. An 18-year-old girl died at the scene, her boyfriend was injured but not life threatening, and the UPS semi driver was not injured.

It helps to think about others; that's how I deal with it. Other people have been through worse. It never really made me feel better but it puts things in perspective.

In the world you will have tribulation. It looks like some people have charmed lives but most don't.

I never will ask my sister what she did with it because i don't want to know and I don't want it to matter any more. I'm sure I've been a trial to her. They are ashamed of me and my family to meet the family of her daughter's husband. I don't have to be told. We weren't invited to her wedding. I didn't expect to but my daughters were hurt. I gave her an expensive present but all the best stuff was taken from her briday registry. My sister and husband raised two very nice children.

Please forgive me for going on and on. Sometimes I need to sort things out. I'll save it for myself to maybe talk to someone. Don't fret about my son; other FReepers on a couple of threads were very supportive when I mentioned it. I wish I'd asked for prayers for him while he was on a downward spiral. He planned it all out and told me what he was going to do and I didn't know how to stop him. I did call the police once and he said he was through with me and never spoke to or of me again. I'm still grieving over him and no matter what happened or what he did, wished I'd been more physically loving of him, like more hugs and more kisses when he was little. Heaven knows I adored him, just have a hard time showing my feelings. He was the light of my life; he was like a consolation for my broken spirit by his usual cheerfulness.

My son was a survivalist like this thread. He had lots of cases of MRE's, Jack Daniels in case he needed something to barter, guns and ammo, a huge safe, but he wanted to build a bunker under his basement. I used to worry like that but I gu He knew bad things were going to happen more frequently in this country. He thought the economy would collapse. He may have called that wrong. He started a precious metals business. His wife and lover pushed him out of that unscrupulously. He started a new business, drop shipping colored diamonds imported from Israel. His wife evidently never notified those Orthodox Jews running the business of his death; she got the business. I decided not to meddle in it and tell them what happened; all they wanted to do was to sell diamonds. It was starting to take off and he was so tired he couldn't eat and the anxiety was eating him alive. He texted his sister that what he was suffering was a fate worse than death.