Unless I keep pausing it there’s not enough time to read the over-lengthy text. I don’t speak German, but I doubt a single word can equate to an entire English sentence.
I think this is actually why I called this the very worst example I have ever seen.
Brevity is the soul of wit.
Adam, you are getting savaged on this thread -- As you should be! -- but please take this the right way. The criticism you will face here, if you take this to heart and don't get defensive, may make your next effort better. And in this way you can improve.