Hi, I am an ignorant, assimilated Jew who knows nothing about his own faith or way of life yet, I think it is cool and people will love and respect me if I say I was “raised” Jewish and today and am agnostic! Isn't that cool? I hope it makes me more socially acceptable.
By distancing myself from my own people and showing disdain for it, I hope to show others that I am not one of those “typical” Jews, rather, I am (a Progressive) an ignorant self-denegrading type of Jew and frankly my fellow Jews embarrass the hell out of me.
I champion all other people's national liberation movements, and social change movements because it's fashionable and they won't think I am Jew or God forbid a...Zionist!
I believe in, above all things, animal rights, Homosexual marriages, free the whales, gun control, the right for Palestinian self-exopression by killing Jews because I am child of the universe, made from start stuff as we are all created equal. Equal in the sense that all other peoples have rights, especially Muslims because they seem to be discriminated against now, for what reasons I really don't have a clue but they are human beings after all!
The fact that they are on a global Jihad right now and would kill me means very little to me right now because I eat free range chickens and recycle plastic bottles.
By distancing myself from my fellow Jew, maybe they won't saw off my head. I mean I will plead with them that yes, I am an agnostic self-hating Jew but I never adopted my parents' or previous 300 generations before, the acceptance of Torah Judaism.
I believe that Muslim's have the right to cause murder and mayhem on the planet because they need to express their outrage, their inner angst at my bad, bad culture.
Your post is hilarious!
The only point I’d disagree with is that your fantasy guy would try to bargain his way out of being beheaded. I always remember the reporter who got horribly beaten during the Brooklyn pogram of the 1990s who later wrote that he deserved to be beaten because, as a white man, he shouldn’t have been in a black neighborhood. So your guy would probably have said: Go ahead! Hack my head off!
Post 35: No, that’s not how I am. I am not “progressive.” I have never voted for a Democrat in my life. But I do believe that whales are intelligent and should be free.
There are MANY of them about. They remind of Warsaw’s leadership during WWII that lead their people meekly into the Ghetto, with assurances that they would all be safe.