Oswald Bates – Damon Wayans plays an eloquent prison inmate whose vocabulary is full of malapropisms, more often than not misusing anatomical terms and words for bodily functions. "Unfortunately, we could not impregnate everyone. It is simply beyond our colonic threshold." "I believe it was Plato ... No, excuse me, I mean Play-Doh ... who stuck to the wall when he said one must not put one's transvestite in jeopardy if one is to become a cunning linguist".