I wish I knew the answer to that, other than that housemaids to do laundry, etc have always been for hire or enslavement.
All I know is, I lived in America "before" and America "after." And although "before" wasn't perfect, it was better for most children.
You are correct in your several observations that Americans are no longer interested in defending or preserving the common good at the expense of their personal preferences or whims.
That's certainly how it appears to me, although it's true that I don't get out much.
I wonder where single men lived in 1st century Judea, if not with their parents. Lazarus lived with his sisters in Bethany. Were there apartment buildings, like in Rome?