I had a mental picture of her waking up her boyfriend, her face about 3 inches away from his, with that bug-eyed smile, butcher knife behind her back, saying "Guess what?" "I found the pictures of you and Suzie on your Iphone!"
It's the Col. Kurtz in me:
"I saw this snail crawling on the edge of a straight razor ..... on the edge ... of a straight razor.....)