[Anton.Rutter]

A gf was giving me the “silent treatment” and as I’m leaving to work night shift I notice we’re out of milk. When she feels fat, she drinks 2%, otherwise she wants whole milk, and whichever I bring home is going to be the wrong one. So I ask her what kind of milk she wants me to bring home. She answered “I don’t give a %$#& what milk you get.”

So I brought home goat milk. I really wanted camel, but no dice.

[Vendome]

GUNNERY SERGEANT HARTMAN
Why you little maggot, you make me want to vomit!

GUNNERY SERGEANT HARTMAN You Goddamn communist heathen, you had best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary, or I'm gonna stomp your guts out! Now you DO love the Virgin Mary, don't ya?

PRIVATE JOKER Sir, NEGATIVE, sir!

GUNNERY SERGEANT HARTMAN Private Joker, are you trying to offend me?

PRIVATE JOKER Sir, NEGATIVE, sir! Sir, the private belives any answer he gives will be wrong and the Senior Drill Instructor will only beat him harder if he reverses himself, SIR!