[wbill]

horror of not being a man does not seem to be listed in the catalog of fears

Mrs WBill has a number of gay friends. I forget how we got on the topic, but she mentioned that they all were "As much of a man" as me.

Insulted, I replied that gender isn't what makes you a man. And, that if she didn't understand that, then she never would.

That particular conversation has never arisen again. :-)

[rlmorel]

I agree, but I would reword your statement to say:

“...gender positively makes you a MALE, but it cannot make you a MAN.”

[Durus]

"Insulted, I replied that gender isn't what makes you a man. And, that if she didn't understand that, then she never would".

The definition of gender is "the behavioral, cultural, or psychological traits typically associated with one sex". Gender is exactly what makes you a man. You confused the term gender with that of sex although "genitalia" would have also worked in your statement. While this is a common mistake it's more painful when you use it in an argument mistakenly.