I have a .40 and my wife hates it but in a SHTF or emergency, she could handle it, just not her preference. The thing about women is, if they are afraid of the gun, they probably shouldn’t be using it. Lots of range time can change uncomfortable to comfortable. Mine won’t still won’t go near a 12 gauge and she’s not fond of the .45 either.
I am glad your wife can use if needed. But this was the reason why govt went from 10mm to .40 Cal.