Posted on 06/09/2011 1:40:00 PM PDT by momfirst
Hello fellow Freepers. I am looking to you for some direction and advice on where to turn on behalf of my closest friend in the world. A very horrific incident happened this week to her daughter, who was expecting her first child. Unfortunately, she misscarried the baby at 13 weeks gestation. If the devastation of that was not enough, it happened in the hospital while she was on the toilet. The nurse instructed them to leave it there and she would go get a pathology box. Very shortly thereafter, another hospital staff member came into the room, donned gloves, and went into the shared bathroom (shared between two patient rooms), shut the door, and, to everyone's horror, flushed the toilet, baby and all. My friend and her family are just beside themselves in grief over not only the lost child, but the way it was handled compounds it a thousand-fold.
The hospital apologized and said they would start an investigation, but that was it. My friend really wants to know what the hospital is doing to make sure this never ever happens to another family, but will not get any replies from the hospital, just get's the standard run-around. They don't want to sue, they just want action. We think the least the hospital could do is to follow-up and reply to their requests - and I persionally think they should offer counseling services to their daughter. The poor thing can't go to the bathroom without bursting into tears.
Does anyone have any advice or direction to resources that might help advocate for this family? We can't find any organization to help since there was no physical harm done to any person. (after all, society doesn't consider a 13 week fetus a person)
And please, any prayers would be greatly appreciated for this young woman and her family.
Thank you!
There are so many “state boards” that I am sure there is a department in charge of making sure each hospital’s policy is up to certain standards. After that, its up to the hospital to see that its employee’s meet those standards..
Lofty claims of personal qualifications are meaningless on an anonymous internet forum. If they were true, however, you wouldn't be making all these foolish and erroneous statements.
You may continue in your fairy tale belief that the threat of a lawsuit causes panic in administration,
No one said anything about causing panic.
but that just makes you the one who is absurdly ignorant.
Claiming that the fear of lawsuits plays no role in the development hospital policies and protocols completely undermines your already sinking credibility. Almost every facet of health care today is affected by the threat of liability. Anyone with an even peripheral understanding of the medical field would know this.
Spare me the amateur psychology.
Then I sincerely hope that you are receiving professional assistance in this area. The narcissist hostility you exhibit in your posts toward people with sick, dying, or dead children is disturbing to watch.
Lofty? Knowing people who have jobs is not a lofty claim. It is not a lofty claim to admit that my wife has worked in hospitals for thirty years and that our social circle is made up almost entirely of doctors, nurses and administrators. No more lofty than a lifetime employee of car dealerships claiming to understand the automobile industry. Chances are he does.
And again, enough with the amateur psychology. In the vernacular, you suck at it.
Lofty? Knowing people who have jobs is not a lofty claim. It is not a lofty claim to admit that my wife has worked in hospitals for thirty years and that our social circle is made up almost entirely of doctors, nurses and administrators. No more lofty than a lifetime employee of car dealerships claiming to understand the automobile industry. Chances are he does.
And again, enough with the amateur psychology. In the vernacular, you suck at it.
Lofty? Knowing people who have jobs is not a lofty claim. It is not a lofty claim to admit that my wife has worked in hospitals for thirty years and that our social circle is made up almost entirely of doctors, nurses and administrators. No more lofty than a lifetime employee of car dealerships claiming to understand the automobile industry. Chances are he does.
And again, enough with the amateur psychology. In the vernacular, you suck at it.
Lofty? Knowing people who have jobs is not a lofty claim. It is not a lofty claim to admit that my wife has worked in hospitals for thirty years and that our social circle is made up almost entirely of doctors, nurses and administrators. No more lofty than a lifetime employee of car dealerships claiming to understand the automobile industry. Chances are he does.
And again, enough with the amateur psychology. In the vernacular, you suck at it.
Lofty? Knowing people who have jobs is not a lofty claim. It is not a lofty claim to admit that my wife has worked in hospitals for thirty years and that our social circle is made up almost entirely of doctors, nurses and administrators. No more lofty than a lifetime employee of car dealerships claiming to understand the automobile industry. Chances are he does.
And again, enough with the amateur psychology. In the vernacular, you suck at it.
Lofty? Knowing people who have jobs is not a lofty claim. It is not a lofty claim to admit that my wife has worked in hospitals for thirty years and that our social circle is made up almost entirely of doctors, nurses and administrators. No more lofty than a lifetime employee of car dealerships claiming to understand the automobile industry. Chances are he does.
And again, enough with the amateur psychology. In the vernacular, you suck at it.
Lawyers are good for somethings and sometimes. This is one of those.
My advice: Get the Health Department after the hospital and yes, of course, retain an attorney.
These are mutually incompatible desires.
You might want to contact Fr. Fank Pavone, Priests for Life, too.
It certainly is on an anonymous internet forum. Only a fool tries to claim an unprovable expertise.
It is not a lofty claim to admit that my wife has worked in hospitals for thirty years and that our social circle is made up almost entirely of doctors, nurses and administrators.
There you go again. Unless you are willing to state who you are, who they are, and what your relationship is, this unverifiable assertion has no bearing whatsoever on the conversation. Provide some real evidence for your silly statements. Nobody on an anonymous internet forum cares about your imaginary friends.
No more lofty than a lifetime employee of car dealerships claiming to understand the automobile industry. Chances are he does.
Although that statement in itself is doubtful, your car salesmen would be a fool to spout off on an internet forum claiming to be some kind of expert without being able to support his case with any verifiable facts.
And again, enough with the amateur psychology. In the vernacular, you suck at it.
I never said I was an amateur, but then again, even an amateur could see that you have some serious unresolved issues. Good luck with that.
And P.S., there is no need to keep posting the exact same thing six different times. It looks foolish enough the first time!
my sympathy to the mom.
However, a 13 week unborn baby is pretty small, and often when you miscarry, it is macerated, so maybe the one who flushed it didn’t notice it, especially with the blood etc. that goes along with a miscarriage.
Indeed, most pregnancies that are lost that early don’t have a recognizable fetus because most miscarriages are because the fetus didn’t grow right, or stopped growing or was malformed or had chromosome problems.
On the other hand, the usual way to dispose of such babies is to burn them in the hospital creamatorium with other tissue.
It is rare to hold a funeral for miscarriages this early...
I remember one where the mom had been infertile for years and lost the baby at 17 weeks, and we arranged a funeral for her child at the local Episcopal church (the priest there was sympathetic and knew the family). The docs where she miscarried thought we were nuts, but it did help mom and the family to mourn the much wanted child.
So perhaps the local pastor can arrange a prayer service or memorial mass for the baby, who is in God’s hands.
1. JOINT COMMISSION.
2. LAWYER NOW!
I’m so sorry for all involved. Do not hesitate to pursue FULL legal rights; that WILL prevent future tragedies for others.
Minn,
Yours is the most heartless comment I have ever read on FR, or on any message board actually.
It’s obvious you’ve never had a child, or lost one, by miscarriage or any way.
Or if you have, maybe you are just one callous, cold....well.
If you cannot comfort or offer useful advice to people in grief and mourning, then the best thing to do is STFU.
So what? That’s the point isn’t it? To settle or litigate. The victims already stated they are not looking to get rich, but to ensure policy changes and to resolve things with the administration to their satisfaction, and to protect future patients. I imagine an attorney who deals with medical matters would be the perfect person to represent their concerns.
To do this alone, the emotional trauma, well, my feeling as a woman, I couldn’t handle the letters, meetings, calls, details and such. The numerous rehashing of the incident that would be required possibly by personnel and such.
I would want an attorney, for legal advice and clarity, because he will know what to say and how to get some justice and some correct procedures in place. I’m not saying be vindictive, but this is what attorneys are for, to represent our legal interests when we cannot ourselves.
Actually, I have.
Or if you have, maybe you are just one callous, cold....well.
No, just wise enough to realize that obsessing on the fate of a small dead body is counterproductive when grieving a loss.
If you cannot comfort or offer useful advice to people in grief and mourning, .
Some very useful advise is "Don't obsess about the fate of a dead body, or entangle yourself in a dispute about it. Understand that sometimes things just happen. Nobody meant to cause you any further pain. Their is nothing whatsoever to be gained by pursuing any action whatsoever over the matter. Let it go and get on with your life. Dead bodies are, well, dead. You are alive."
then the best thing to do is STFU
Or go to hell maybe.
Yes. Because, as we all know, the best way to recover and move on from a loss that nature dealt to us is to get lawyers involved and start recriminations.
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