and told the officer that I had "slowed down"...
"Son, I was hittin' someone in the head with this stick.
I told him to tell me when to STOP, but I just 'slowed down'.
Do you think he knew the difference?
Posted on 04/19/2011 1:44:36 PM PDT by Reaganite Republican
Boy! “I say Boy, you picked the wrong parish to be haulin’ a$$ through.” Jackie Gleason in Smokie
East Bound and Down!
http://reaganiterepublicanresistance.blogspot.com/2011/01/tgif-oldies-jerry-reed-197071.html
3. “If you take your hands off the car,
I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”
Obama’s response: ? (Submit your best reply here!)
He brings me back to his car so he can write up the ticket. He's writing the ticket and trying to look at my driver's license and he's all squinty-eyed. He finally hands my license back to me and asks me to read him my info because his eye sight is so bad he can't read it!
I can't tell you what I wanted to say at that moment, but I was wise enough to just keep my mouth shut when dealing with a SC State Trooper.
I did laugh out loud, and I still got the ticket. Thanks Troopers! :)
And a-comin' up from behind
It was a Georgia state policeman,
And a hundred dollar fine.
Well, he looked me in the eye as he was writin' me up,
He said, "Driver, you been flyin',
95 is the route you were on,
It was not the speed limit sign."
Jim Croce, West Coast Turnarounds (I think)
Screw the police. They’re just out stealing our hard earned $$$$!
And don't go home, and don't go to eat, and don't play with yourself. It wouldn't look nice on my highway........Now, you can THINK about it... but don't do it!
"Hold up on that car wash, gentlemen..."
Mr. Tibbs! Well Mr. Woods take Mr. Tibbs! Take him down to the depot and I mean boy like now!
You're smarter than any white man. You're just gonna stay here and show us all. You've got such a big head that you could never live with yourself unless you could put us all to shame. You wanna know something, Virgil? I don't think that you could let an opportunity like that pass by.
I heard a story from a guy recently who got pulled over for speeding. He was in a pack with other cars, all of whom were speeding.
When the trooper came to the car, he said to the guy, “you know how when you are duck hunting and you fire into a flock, one drops?”
“Yeah” said the guy
“You that duck”
Failing a breathalyzer test.
“There’s no way, *no* way that you came from *my* loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I’m gonna do is punch yo mama in the mouth!”
True Story: Was sitting on my balcony enjoying an adult beverage and a cigar, when a Police car pulled over a pickup truck. Eventually he has the driver out to do the DUI test. A big ol’ boy, had to be 300 pounds or more, visibly swaying. He fails pretty quickly, and the policeman tells him to turn around. The drunk lurches forward to jump my 6’ fence. As he’s trying to grip the fence to pull himself over, the cop says “Sir, you really don’t want to have me shoot you in each of those big flanks of yours, do ya’?”
JJ Jimmy Walker had a routine about being pulled over for speeding in Alabama. The officer told him “Son, you’re going to jail.” he replied “don’t I just get a warning? So the cop fired three shots over my head.”
My #1 favorite line from the movie.
Gleason was a comic genius. He invented the word “sumb!tch” for the role.
After Coast Guard boot camp (a long time ago), I was driving through Connectucut on my way to my first duty station. I got bagged by a speed trap, and when the state trooper asked me for my license, I handed him both my license and my military ID.
He said, “You’re in the Coast Guard? I thought you were in the Air Force the way you were flying!
I got a warning and a thank you for serving our country. I will never forget that. (But I have driven the limit through Connecticut ever since.)
There was this one particular business on a major road down which the employees of the business would fly each afternoon as they left work. The CHP, knowing this, kept setting up a radar trap along that road.
Soon enough the employees knew where the trap was, would slow down just before that point, and then, once beyond, would put the pedal to the metal once again.
So one day the employees sped out, slowed down at the trap, and then, as usual, sped up...only to be caught in a second trap the CHP had set up further down the road.
Lots of speeding tickets that day.
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