[piytar]

Wrong. The Restoring Honor rally was about hating black people. Sharpton and the media told me so, and they keep telling me so again and again and again. /hurl

In reality, I think you’re seeing the overall situation. That said, the pond analogy will lose some people. Maybe revise to include an intro of the conclusion at the start? (Persuasive writing 101: Tell ‘em what your going to tell ‘em, explain it, and then tell ‘em what you told ‘em.)

[Pete]

In reality, I think you’re seeing the overall situation. That said, the pond analogy will lose some people. Maybe revise to include an intro of the conclusion at the start? (Persuasive writing 101: Tell ‘em what your going to tell ‘em, explain it, and then tell ‘em what you told ‘em.)

Good advice. Thanks.