Most people, if honest, have confronted the same challenges.
A great teacher advised us to "seek," to "knock," and to "ask," which indicates an expectation that yours is a natural human question.
Never squelch the questioning. It is in the "seeking" and "knocking" and "asking" that we "find."
Do not allow anyone to interpret your searching for you. Perhaps the answer to your question lies in your desire to search.
“The humility of the tone of your first paragraph should never cost you a true friend.”
Thank you. It means a lot to me. If we practice telling the truth we have to face many challenges.
I put it in the title: it is not easy.