You are correct that Civil Wars are wars of extinction, of neighbor against neighbor and brother against brother, far more than the American Civil War (really the War of Southern Secession) was. The survivors of the defeated, if not expelled from the country will carry bitterness and be a constant source of treachery and sedition, for hundreds of years. Some would form gangs, like the Sicilian Mafia, caused by social groups crushed by historical victors. Some might be like the Syrian Assassins (Hashish Eaters), always fighting to infiltrate the dominant groups and murder as many as possible. These problems are the reason that genocide and exile are the usual paths of the losers.
I learned all about civil war from Shakespeare:
“O, pardon me, thou bleeding piece of earth,
That I am meek and gentle with these butchers!(275)
Thou art the ruins of the noblest man
That ever lived in the tide of times.
Woe to the hand that shed this costly blood!
Over thy wounds now do I prophesy
Which like dumb mouths do ope their ruby lips(280)
To beg the voice and utterance of my tongue,
A curse shall light upon the limbs of men;
Domestic fury and fierce civil strife
Shall cumber all the parts of Italy;
Blood and destruction shall be so in use,(285)
And dreadful objects so familiar,
That mothers shall but smile when they behold
Their infants quarter’d with the hands of war;
All pity choked with custom of fell deeds,
And Caesar’s spirit ranging for revenge,(290)
With Ate by his side come hot from hell,
Shall in these confines with a monarch’s voice
Cry “Havoc!” and let slip the dogs of war,
That this foul deed shall smell above the earth
With carrion men, groaning for burial.(295)”
But with all its destruction and horror, I still say if the choice is ONLY between dying on your knees, or dying on feet, I would chose the latter.
“Give me liberty or give me death.”