As far as booze is concerned you can have my share, I think I am allergic to it.
All the Mormons will be jumping on you? Something tells me you might enjoy that.
If you like playing the ass, that’s your prerogative. You know we don’t marry 12-year olds, but feel free to smear and lie and have your fun. Usually that’s the kind of Christlike behavior reserved for the Religion Forum here on FR, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Have at it.