Replies

Indeed. They are ruthless and relentless. Here are some samples of humorous letters from Part 3 and Part 5.

This is such a great idea. I love snitching on my friends. My boss at work even gave me a pay raise because of my ease of betraying co-workers. Please tell Michelle for me that now I’m proud of my country too. I’ll report back to you soon. BTW, is there a financial incentive for being a prolific snitch? Sincerely, Justin Case

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I’m not snitching on any friends at this time. This isn’t because I don’t want to turn them in, it’s just because I don’t have any friends. But, there is good news. I finally got a job. Thank you for your stimulus plan. Actually, in my new occupation, I have 500 men under me. But, it sure does get hot out there, Mr. Obama, cutting grass at the cemetary. Doug Graves

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This may not be the best place to ask this question. But, before i start snitching on my friends, I’d like to know where President Obama was born. He says he was born in Hawaii. The far right claims he was born in Kenya. The far left claims he was born in a manger. Joe King

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I am a pescatarian. We are vegetarians who also eat fish. My group, Pescatarian Union National of Sicilians (PUNS), is not pleased with your usage of the term “fishy”. In fact, we resent it. We recommend that you select a more appropriate term when describing the opposing point of view. Acceptable alternatives include: suspicious, disputable, and questionable. But, stay away from fish, see. Capish? Cordially, The Codfather

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I spent four days reading House Resolution 3200. Man, that is one interesting piece of fiction. The plot is downright Orwellian. But, the character development needs some work. Health Reform Now, Dylan Weed & Sharon Weed