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Robert,

I admire your tenacity here. I really do and I'm not being sarcastic.

I've had "run-ins" with LEO's in the long past (mostly loud parties) and the police were fantastic to deal with! They were really nice people.

Only once do I remember not complying with an officer's suggestion. He showed up at my loud party and noted my car (in front of my house) was parked on the city "berm" (the grass area between the street and the public sidewalk.) The officer asked me to move my car off of the berm, because it was illegal to park there. I didn't know that it was illegal (to park there), but I said to him, "Officer, I've been drinking tonight and if I get into that car and move it, I'm worried about a DUI. I'd rather have you just ticket my car and I'll move it in the morning". (Again, remember, my car was parked right in front of my front door of my house - not even ten feet away.)

The officer (apparently) saw my logic...didn't press me...and never did ticket my car.

Now...fast forward 15 years...

My wife and I were staying at a local motel (birthday pool party for my 7 year old) and my wife forgot something at home. As she (alone) backed out, she bumped into another car. It was raining hard. My wife left a note (that was destroyed in the rain) AND a note at the front desk of the motel with our contact information.

We asked the front desk if they could provide the room number of the owner of the car (this seemed logical, since motels make you write down your license plate number upon check-in.) The front desk refused.

So now we have a note on the car (in the rain),and a note at the front desk.

No-one calls our room that evening.

The next day, around 2 PM or so (we had checked out went home), we got an expected phone call from the woman whose car was hit. (Yep-we left our home number also!). I told her to call the police and I'd meet her there to file an insurance claim.

I showed up, I had even taken photos of the damage for insurance purposes (mostly to protect ourselves...what if the individual...unknown at the time...started to really trash the car and blame it on us??).

The police officer who showed up was not nice at all. He got REALLY upset that it was ME who showed up and not my wife. He asked the lady (whose car was bumped into) if SHE wanted to press charges (on my wife) for "leaving the scene of an accident".

I was shocked! I thought we had done everything right?? (She declined, BTW)

The police officer was NOT HAPPY and he lectured ME about how my WIFE should have called the police immediately. It was clear he was looking to berate someone...and even though I wasn't the person who caused the accident...he let me have a lecture.

PROBLEM IS...

We looked up the city code/ordinance (my wife works for the city...) and what we did is RIGHT (we followed the law!). The officer...was wrong. Our city ordinance (paraphrased) says to leave a note on the car in a private parking lot

So, I had to sit there and listen to a police officer lecture ME (not the "accused") about how the law works...and he was WRONG.

After my wife heard my story about this officer, she (and, IIRC, some of her co-workers) wanted me to file a complaint against this officer.

I decided the potential hassles 'down the road', so to speak, were not worth it.

Robert, I was not only nice but completely cordial. The officer was totally wrong and was upset for some reason. It was TOTALLY clear, to me, that this officer was just...well...wanted to lecture ME! And I did nothing wrong!

The reason I wrote this to you, Robert, is not that I require you to change your position, but only that you allow that "even being nice, cordial and respectful to a police officer, when one has done no wrong at all, doesn't mean you will be treated with the same respect."

(I need to note that after my wife read through most of this post...she remarked to me the SAME police officer...while parked next to the SAME truck (in the accident) she drives...was very pleasant and nice to her as she was training him on a few new features the city had installed in his vehicle...my wife says he was very nice to her.)