DUmmie FUnnies 10-30-06 (ALL Is Going According To The Perfect Rovian Plan)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | October 30, 2006 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[Charles Henrickson]

skin oils get on the screen. . . .

Ah, Big Oil! I KNEW it!

[Charles Henrickson]

skin oils get on the screen and divert the galvonic response.

It's a glitch in the flux capacitor.

[Charles Henrickson]

Hand Counted Paper Ballots NOW!

PAPER BALLOTS
Tune: "Paper Roses"

I sure despise the way you guys are staring
With sideways looks like I'm a kook to ask;
Just give me paper now or I'll start swearing
And hit you fascists with my Guy Fawkes mask!

Paper ballots, paper ballots--
Oh, how real those ballots seem to be!
But they're only a placebo:
Diebold says we're voting GOP!

I knew that Rove would plot a perfect caper
And try to make me go and touch a screen;
But I won't vote unless it's made of paper,
So find the form I want or I will scream!

Paper ballots, paper ballots--
Oh, how real those ballots seem to be!
But they're only a placebo:
Diebold says we're voting GOP!
Diebold says we're voting GOP!

[F.J. Mitchell]

LOL! I also hear that voters at majority dimocrat polling places must take off their shoes and stand in a vat of water while voting. Early voters are said to be exiting the place with Don King hair styles.

[Charles Henrickson]

I'm trying not to get my hopes up. But I sense a momentum, especially after watching the Ford/Corker debate, that is building.

PINKFINGER
Tune: "Goldfinger"

Pinkfinger
He's the man, the man with the Diebold touch
A screen you touch

Such a jinx-bringer
Beckons you to let up before you win
But don't give in

Poll results he will pour in your ear
But his polls can't control what you fear
For a Democrat knows there's disaster
On the list for Dems from Master . . .

Pinkfinger
Democrat, beware of the tricks of Rove
The web he wove.

Poll results he will pour in your ear
But his polls can't control what you fear
For a Democrat knows there's disaster
On the list for Dems from Master . . .

Pinkfinger
Democrat, beware of the tricks of Rove
The web he wove.

We fear only Rove
Only Rove
We fear Rove
We fear only Rove
Only Rove
We fear Rove
We fear Rove!

[Charles Henrickson]

He added that 06 has been stolen months ago, voter turnout will mean shit. . . . People have to go vote and feel the pain as there vote is block, flipped or Diebolded. . . . I am Very pessimistic.

CRY (If you see polls)
By Johnnie Ray-of-Sunshine
Tune: "Cry" (If your sweetheart)

If you see polls that turn out to be too high
It's just Diebold, you'll feel better if you cry
When voting on a touchscreen
Don't you sometimes think it's real
But it's only fall elections that they steal

If the FReepers seem to hang around and gloat
And the red states keep getting redder with each vote
November storm clouds can be found
Behind the sunny skies
So get your hopes down and go on and cry

If the FReepers seem to hang around and gloat
And the red states keep getting redder with each vote
Well now, November storm clouds can be found
Behind a sunny sky
So get your hopes down and go on and cry

[Charles Henrickson]

If the election were held tomorrow. . . .

But of course it won't be. The election will be held on November 8.

Remember, remember, the 8th of November. . . .

[Charles Henrickson]

We shall respond appropriately, as did the Ukrainian people last year.

The Orange Revolution begins today!

[Uriah_lost]

You've spent too much time over there, your ability to think like them is disturbing!

[shezza]

Although your hopes are up, it's Rove--
By Jove, it's over!

ROFLOL! Magnificent, just like ol' Karl himself.

[Cheburashka]

You must not read DU Funnies often enough. Now is the time for you to insert a benburch - Fat Che joke here.
---
I left Ben Burch for our Lutheran pastor. I try to do the unexpected. We don't have enough Richard Gere jokes.

[shezza]

If the election were held tomorrow, and the Republicans hang on, we have every right to assue massive fraud was the reason.

Every right, indeed. Because we ALL know that the only way Republicans could POSSIBLY win an election is by stealing it. ("I voted Democrat, and all my friends voted Democrat. Therefore we should have won by a 100% margin.")

[Charles Henrickson]

then i told him 'for all i know you might be an undercover homeland security person--he had a handheld machine that he kept punching as i kept talking. . . .

. . . . . . . . . . . . "Set beebers to STUNE!"

[Charles Henrickson]

BTW, PJ, today is the SECOND ANNIVERSARY of my FIRST POST ON A DUFU, and in that post I used the same photo as I used just now in post 133.

[epow]

If you remember Johnny Ray you must be older than you look Charles. I remember that sappy song "Cry" from my jr high days I think it was, or at least high school. And judging by the photo you posted on a previous thread, you appear to be a full generation younger than me.

BTW, your version of Cry is another winner even if the original lyrics are sappy.

[epow]

It's that the gerbils know what Richard Gere is going to do next with them.

EEEEUUUUUUWWWWWW!!!

Let's just forget that I ever brought up the subject of gerbils, OK? I just ate dinner and I would like to keep it down.

[rzeznikj at stout]

Whoa--those must be some outdated beebers...

[PJ-Comix]

I know about Johnny Ray because they had a really interesting DOCUMENTARY about him on the tube. He could actually work himself into massive tears while singing the "Cry" song. I also did some research on Ray. Good singer but he had some, um, personal problems that maybe I shouldn't mention.

[rzeznikj at stout]

Haven't heard of him...

[Paul Heinzman]

I have a new favorite. You're satirical tune-smithing is on par with Dr. Tom Lehrer.